more than a month.

i thought that today was my one month anniversary of having my license, but then I checked when Dana's birthday is. I got my license on her half-birthday. Yeahhh she was born on October 7th. then i remembered that April 16th was the around original date but then they moved it up a week. so much for celebrating having my license for a month. i hope people don't expect me to remember important dates and anniversaries cause yeahhhh.

but today was just ahhhh. i couldn't do anything. like during spanish i couldn't remember how to say "children" and i was just all over the place. i couldn't sit still in lunch. i was just a complete mess. mhmm. i still probably am. well i am. not need for probably.

and i gave Katelyn the abbreviated version of my last post and she was like "aww that's so cute" and then she read what he wrote in my yearbook. she had saw that he had written something but she hadn't read it yet. and after she read it she was like "yeah you got this in the bag" and i was practically dying.

school just seemed pointless. it's like he's in the same building as me. i can't see him. i can't talk to him. i get to sit in a classroom and do nothing. it's just like please let me talk to him. i would rather talk to him in person than text him. which is a change from a few months ago when talking to him was terrifying. but now i get to talk to him on the way to english and out to the car. and i love seeing him talk with Maeve and yeah.

but then i have to give myself a smack and be like, molly stop this nonsense. you're making this a bigger deal than it actually is. you need to calm down and get your head on straight. get your stomach to stop freaking out and just stop thinking about this. think about actual important things. don't waste your time.

hahaha, like that's going to happen.

goodness. i really just want to see him and talk to him. but can't do that. instead i'm home doing nothing. i don't even have any homework to occupy my mind with. and i could text him but it's too early and i don't to see like i'm obsessed or like he's all i think about. -_- don't make a comment there.

but don't think that there's been a huge change. i have liked having him as a friend since whenever we started texting, that day bowling during Christmas break. pretty much everything that happens, i tell him. if i have a problem, i'll ask him what he thinks i should do. but then yesterday it was kind of like, okkkayy molly you really do like him more than a friend, you can stop denying that now.

but but but but. blah.

it seems stupid just sitting here. i don't know what i want to do. well i do. but i don't know. my brain's a mess. i really should cut this all out and do something productive, like studying for SATs. or texting Abby. I'll text Abby. but that probably won't help my brain much. i'm not sure what would.

i guess i'm going to go to tumblr now even though i feel like i should be writing more but there's nothing more...