i still don't want to do tomorrow. right now i should be getting my pencils and snacks together. then i should get in the shower and i should go to sleep. i don't want to do any of that. because then that's admitting that it's all tomorrow and that i'm going to do it and i'm one step closer. if i just stay here at my computer then maybe it won't happen. i can just stay on my computer and it will never happen.

aren't girls supposed to be all happy and excited for prom? well here i am dreading it. i don't want to go. AP test doesn't even look that bad compared to prom. how about I take another test instead of going to prom. i'm down with that. prom's just stupid anyways. you have to get dressed up just to go and hang out with a group of people. why? because that's what the tradition is. think about it for a bit. why do we put on all this fancy stuff? just to go out and dance and be with the people we see at school. i don't know. it seems stupid. and i just don't want to do it. i really don't. and right now i don't have anyone to be like "Molly, it will be fine, you'll have fun, you know you actually want to go" and talk me out of this mindset. Josh is at SAT prep class I believe. I don't know where Abby is, all she said was that she was going "out." i could text her but then i would feel like i'm annoying her because now all i do i text her when i'm in strange negative moods. if i talk to Katelyn she'll make me feel worse. Dana would give me some long drawn out reasonable explanation which will just make me feel worse because we aren't dealing with reason here, we're dealing with emotions.

stupid emotions. alright i should get ready for bed so i can attempt to be in bed by 9:30. we'll see how that actually works.

i just don't want to. please. but you know i will anyways. it sucks.