12 hours ago.

12 hours ago i was writing a blog post too. so that means now it is around 12pm. you are right it is 12:03pm. i woke up around 11:30am this morning. i have done nothing since then. i'm hungry. but i don't want pizza for the third meal in a row. and i don't know what else there is. only Maura and I are home.

i have a boring life. i could have had a lesson but i don't want to just ride some random horse around. i want to ride my horse. which i don't have. i haven't been to the barn for more than 5 minutes in a while. so what do then? nothing. boring life.

well later Maura's 4h group is putting on dinner for families, so i have to go to that, which is why i didn't make an effort to plan anything for today. and then tomorrow i'm probably going to Treasure Island. Josh wanted to go the same day as me. I'm wondering how that will work out, it depends on who from my family comes. If my mom and dad come I can just ditch them, but if I'm with Maeve and Maura they'll have to sit with me if none of their friends are there. I don't really care, I'll figure it out when/if it happens.

i should go work on my essay. i'm close to being done. i only have two paragraphs left. but you know. i think i'll text Abby because i haven't talked to her in forever and i miss her. ahh. life is too simple now. it's making me focus on little things that shouldn't annoy or bother me.

my mom and dad have both asked me if I've talked to Adam since prom. i've just told them not really. he did a bit the day after during study hall. but honestly i don't really want to talk to him. i had a good time at prom with him but i don't feel the need to continue "our relationship." i would pretty much just like him to disappear, but that won't happen anytime soon.

i wonder what it's like to read my blog posts from last summer with Adam and compare them to now. see how things change. i'm not lying to you. i'm just telling you how it in my head. we talked in english about trustworthy narrators and how Nick in The Great Gatsby isn't really one. he says he's honest but really he's the one telling the story so he can tell it however he wants. that's sort of the same way with me. but the difference is i'm not exactly telling a story, i'm just writing about my life the moment it happens. of course i leave things out. i just don't find those things worth telling or i don't want to. but i tell you everything that i want to. so yeah, you're probably wondering how trustworthy i am and how much you can trust this little blog. well, trust it as much as you want. i'll tell you that i poor my little heart and mind into this thing. if you don't want to believe that then oh well.

last night i was very risky on tumblr. i did a lovely survey thing. i didn't want to go to sleep and i had nothing else to do. so i did it. it's kind of long but i'll give you the best questions i answered.
"Why aren’t you dating the last person you texted? cause he hasn’t asked me yet.
4 months ago, who did you have a crush on? same person.
Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with? debatable.
Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? maybe
Are you wasting your time with anyone right now? probably
Has anything made you really happy today? yesyesyes
Do you think someone is thinking about you? probably not
Do you know what it’s like to be truly happy? i think so
Do you believe in love? yes
What’s your favorite feature of your boyfriend/girlfriend?
hmm this is hard, oh wait
When was the last time you were told you were beautiful? never?
Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J? no
How did you get one of your scars? falling off my former horse
Who is the last person that called you attractive? don’t know
Are you in a good mood? not really
Are you afraid to tell your true feelings? if no, explain it. yep, too afraid to admit them to myself
Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad? yes, kids in elementary school are jerks
How are things between you and the person you like? pretty good"

there you go, that's something different for you. i filled that out last night right before i posted that other blog post. maybe i'll do another survey thing but just post it on here. who knows. anyways. i should get something to eat. it's 12:35 now. i haven't had breakfast or lunch. i'm just a lazy slug.