i don't want to be a teenager anymore. please. just let me skip all of this nonsense.
my brain's a mess. i don't even know anymore.
i have lost all motivation for everything.
Abby's not coming to Glee now.
I'm not seeing her afterschool Friday.
I'm not seeing her this weekend.
Those were pretty much the things to just push me off the edge.
And it didn't help that Josh wasn't in school today.
Actually school was fine, why? Because Katelyn made me laugh a bunch and history was really good. Thank goodness for Katelyn.
I'm just sort of overall annoyed, pissed, upset.
And it's not even anyone's fault.
It's just me being a teenager and I need to have mood swings every once in a while. I have less than the average teenager so when I have one, I really have one.
It's stupid and I know I'm being stupid but I don't give a shit.
So I'm going to swear and just be in a bad mood.
And then I'm going to feel like crying but I'm not cause I ain't that weak.
Tumblr just has the best posts. I swear it always know what mood I'm in. When I was in a good mood Sunday and Monday it has lovely nice posts. Now that I'm in a pissy mood it has pissy posts for me. Fabulous.
I really should just choose happiness and cut this out but ehhh I do what I want.
And I'll probably wait to post this until later so Abby won't see it today that way she won't say anything about it until I'm in a better mood cause I don't want to deal with that. I don't want to explain myself when I don't really have an explanation. I just want to freaking write without having to worry.
So I'll just wait over here in my pit of moodiness and wait for it to leave. I'll probably be over it by tomorrow morning. Or not. Who knows.

But seriously the only thing right now that keeps me going is thinking about Sunday and how he wrapped his finger around mine. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't like me. I don't know. It's just that moment. I'm still afraid I'll do something to mess it up. Like me talking to him when I'm in this mood. But hey whatever. I just hope that Saturday goes well. Oh I really hope so. I try not to think about it too much because I don't want my brain to mess it up before it even happens. I really just want to talk to him. And hold his hand.

I really should stop complaining. My life is actually pretty darn awesome right now. My sisters' not so much. Maeve has a bunch of jerks for friends who leave her out of everything and she doesn't have anyone she can count on. Maura gets bullied at school and doesn't want to take the bus anymore. And I'm over here like "ahwwh i don't get to see my best friend but oh yeah i do get to see my friend on friday and another friend on saturday but my life is so horrible!!1!" yeah i think I'm going to shut up now. My house is just a big bundle of negative like emotions.

I'm feeling better now. Maybe because I told Abby that I can't deal with making plans with her now. I'm already super annoyed with her family. And I can't go back there or else I'll get upset all over again. You should have heard me talking to my mom about it in the car. But anyways I'm moving on and trying to get over it. So anyways I need to just stop this negativeness. I think I'm going to go watch Shaytards cause they always make me smile.

My nose won't stop running. It's annoying. I have quite the collection of tissues going. I watched the Shaytards and they helped. I'm in a better mood. My emotions just like to drive me crazy.

When did I start this post? I don't know, but ooo, i had the title of this post "fuckkk" but i think i'm going to change that and use it when it's actually appropriate. I just won't give it a title. Alright. I think we're all set with this post. Oh I didn't saw that time it is now. It's 9:42. Bad mood gone. See the bad moods don't come often but when they do they hit hard and then they leave again. Alright sleep now.