"What will make you happier, who will make you happy with your choice."

If you had asked me that last week, I would have had trouble answering that. Now, not really. Josh would.

I got myself in sort of a pickle now didn't I.
I need to try to sort of what I can do now.

- Tell Adam I can't go with him, but how do I do that? Say that I can't, or that I don't want to? Because if he ends up going he'll see me there with Josh. And I'll see him everyday during study hall, not that he talks to me then anyways. And I'll see him at the barn. It's not like he's going to just disappear. It's not going to simple like, "oh changed my mind I want to go with Josh now" because it doesn't work like that.
- I don't even know. This is starting to stress me out more than it should. I was going to be the one who avoided the prom drama now look at me, knee deep in it. Well it's mostly just in my head because to anyone else that I haven't told, there's no drama. I'm going with Adam and there's no Josh.

Why am I so stupid? Why couldn't I have just said no to Adam when he asked? Why couldn't Josh have asked sooner? Why hadn't I brought it up to Josh sooner? Why couldn't I have thought of this all before hand? Why can't it be simple?

I'm getting all upset over this now. We'll see how tomorrow goes. But then I feel like I can't put this off too long because then it will be too late or whatever. So let's set a limit for myself. By the end of this weekend I have to be definite in who I'm going to prom with. I can't second guess myself. I need to figure out if I'm going with Adam or if I'm bailing on him and seeing if Josh wants to go with me. Would it be better if I asked Josh beforehand because what if he says no? Then I'm stuck without a date, which wouldn't be that bad, but still. Well I'm in for a stressful rest of the week. How many days do I have? Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Then I should not stress out over it anymore. So pretty much I'm setting myself a deadline to figure this all out. First step? Posting this up and telling Abby to read it, even though I pretty much know where she stands on all of this. Second step? Seeing if I can talk to Adam during study hall tomorrow. Third step? Talking to my lunch girls. Fourth step? Communicate with people after school. Fourth step? Try to talk to Adam during study hall again Thursday. Fifth step? Get my license. Sixth step? Get my dress. Seventh step? See where I'm at and revaluate before Friday so I can talk to people on Friday. Then weekend make any final steps that I haven't already covered.

Alright, step one will be completed in two seconds.