i love how i have so much work yet i'm not doing any of it.
i don't have any motivation.
just done with school.
what i want to do is have a horse.
go to horse shows.
hang out with my friends.
do fun stuff.
i don't want to do IDS, FRQ, research paper
I'm just so lazy.
i just want to go drive around and stay out late and sleep in late and do nothing all day.
i can't do that.
no way.
this is stupid.
i know i'm going to do my homework eventually.
i just don't want to do it now.
i'm just a waste of space currently.
ah.
i just want it to be summer so badly.
feeling like crying because i don't want to do anything.
why am i so emotional?
this sucks.
i don't know what i want to do.
i want to do nothing, actually, but that's not a choice.
bad mood now.
no motivation.
i want to talk to someone but i'll just be a debbie downer or negative nancy and i can't be that, i can't be negative ever, i always have to be positive.
so instead i just wallow in my little pit of negativity and upsetness and blah.
maura's already home.
it's late now.
this sucks blah.
why am i still typing.
you don't want to read this.
you don't want hear this nonsense.
now someone's in my house and i'm supposed to be nice and courtesy, just leave now, okay?
and now my dad's upset because he messed up the door stuff, because he got a clear door but maeve wanted a solid door, because what's the point of a clear door when you want some privacy? my dad apparently didn't get that.
i think i'm just going to go to the barn to get out of the house because i don't want to do anything.
i want a horse so i can cry in his mane.
leaving now.
this is just awful.
why do we even exist?