I've had a strawberry-kiwi snapple three days in a row.

Yeah, I've been going to outlook a lot. Friday I went up with Maeve after school. Yesterday I went up with my mom for lunch. Then today I went up by myself for lunch.

now I'm watching The Lion King because the full movie is on youtube and I couldn't resist. I don't know how much I'll actually watch.

I pretty much spent my whole day at the barn. I rode Wylie and he was so good. He wasn't off at all. He was just whinnying a lot, I asked him who he thought he was, Winnie the Pooh?

The Lion King is so intense. I can't even concentrate on writing this blog. I was going to write about Abby's text yesterday of "Molly, i think you have a pretty big crush on this kid" but The Lion King is far more interesting than my love life.

Actually now The Lion King is getting kind of boring. 11 and a half minutes in. Yep, i'm done now. Now do I have to tell you about stuff. I'm too tired though. I'm tired because I was up past midnight texting Josh. I felt bad for wasting all the time I normally text him for being stupid, and I wanted to talk to him, so I stayed up. I would have stayed up later but I thought he had fallen asleep because he was slow texting me back, so I sent him another text thinking he wouldn't respond, but then he did, but I ended up just going to sleep anyways. Now I'm exhausted.

But when Abby said that I was like "ahhashhhahhhhhhh" because I don't know if I want to. Because that's scary. That means that I care about what happens, that I would be hurt if it didn't happen. I don't like that. I don't like having my feelings attached to someone else, or dependent on them. I want to be just like "whatever, yeah" but if I have a "pretty big crush" then suddenly I care more than I really would like to. And it makes me nervous, like I'm just nervous-like sitting here thinking about it. What if I mess it up? What if it doesn't work? What if I'm just stupid? How will it work? It's scary. It's so scary.

This is stupid talking like this. Cut it out Molly. Don't worry about it, don't think about it. Now is when I would tell myself, it probably won't happen, but actually there is a pretty big chance. That just makes everything even more scarier. I'm starting to freak myself out over something that might happen in the future. Abbbbby, come through the woods and over the river back to your house so I can talk to you so I can stop thinking about this.

I should have kept watching The Lion King.