another quote from that book on page 201. "But still, you should put yourself out there more. Do stuff, let people know who you are, you know? Because you aren't that bad really." said from the brother directed to the sister, the narrator.

okay it's 8:22 and i just finished that book. i believe i started it last night. yeppers. it was good. i like this Elizabeth Scott. hopefully one day the lessons in these books will sink into my head. or maybe they are like those things that you can repeat over and over again but you'll never get until you actually experience it. sigh. here i am waiting. maybe i should stop waiting and actually go out and make a change. in the book Kate hadn't wanted the change which brought about happiness in the form of a guy and also a lot of other horrible family stuff. what if i want the change. what if i want to bring the good and the bad on me? i'm not saying i do because they second i do all the bad stuff will probably be upon me and i won't get any of the good.

i should stop trying to be so "deep". who am i to talk anyways? i all do i spend all day looking at guys but i never talk to them even when i could easily if i wanted to. so don't listen to me. any advice i gave you is invalid. i don't have enough experience to be giving people advice.

but don't feel bad for me. my life is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. but only when compared to other people's lives. goodness. ew. erase that word. ah. erase that too. there is no word to give me a transition into whatever my brain is going to say next. one of these days i'll do something big that will change my life. i'll either see the good from it right away or i'll see the bad. welllllllllllll.

honestly i just don't want to go up to bed now. it's 8:29. i have to get in the shower, resist the temptation to start a new book, and go to bed. i just need to stop typing, press the big orange button, and get off of this computer. why do you have to be so tempting blog? like how now i want to talk about the shirt i wore today and why i wore it today instead of tomorrow or friday (tomorrow is a B day, and friday is a half day). molly shut up. ouch.

i don't want to end with that. so instead i'll begin.

BEGIN

i stole that from the book i just read. and i just ruined it by writing more. lalalalalalalalalalalalalaal. now i'm just being annoying and boring. and that last "al" instead of "la" was on purpose.

stopping now. or not. hahaha. why am i doing this to myself? because i know that if i stop that means i will have to go to bed which means i am admitting that another day just went by without me doing anything. well i did do lots of things but you know what i'm talking about. i did ride my horse outside today even though i was scared and when i got back i was fine.

when i was going to sleep yesterday you know how i sort of imagine something so i don't have to think about school and such when i go to bed? well i imagined that we were watching Roots in history and i did my whole really hot/can't see/fainting/pale white skin thing but while my body was freaking out my mind was fine so i was telling everyone what to do. i had Adam and another guy - Keith or Emmett help me walk out into the hallway. seeing as i had no strength they pretty much carried me. and then they placed me on the ground and someone got me some water and everyone was crowded around me seeing if i was okay. and then i told them i was still really hot so i had them bring me outside. and then i told them i wanted Abby because she would know what to do and i told them she was in Ms. Tracy's room and they went to get her. and in all of this the nurse was out sick because i didn't want her to come. and they asked if i wanted my sister to come but i didn't because i didn't want to scare her. and during this everyone was all concerned for me. but then i shooed them all away and then i asked myself what it meant that i was dreaming about something like that. it didn't come true though.

it's 8:36. good job molly you managed to stall that long. now you'll just be more tired tomorrow because of this stupid blog. gakadjkadjkfajsdlkgjakdhgfkajdkgjadkgjakdfjksdj. ahhahahhhahhahhh. you're pathetic.

no i'm not.