What's the meaning of "valentine"?

Just wondering. So you think about that. I'm not going to mention Valentine's Day again because now I'm getting kind of sick of it.

I don't really have something to write about, I just needed to take a break from my term paper and I am not allowing myself to go on tumblr today because I will get sucked in. I should actually go do some IDSs. I'll do that when my sisters are at circus. It's only four, I have plenty of time to do stuff today.

Will this blog ever actually become something? I like to think it will but how do I know? I don't. I don't know what my future is going to be like. I know what I would like it to be like but the odds of that happening is slim. Nothing turns out how you think it will. That scares me a bit. Mostly because I think of so many scenarios and if none of those are going to happen, then what is? Sometimes I catch myself thinking something and I have to tell myself to stop because if I think that, it will probably never happen, because if I thought it and it happens then I can predict the future. That's only for some things though.

Right now in my life I'm a nobody. People don't care if I, Molly Ronan, listen to their music. People don't care if I, Molly Ronan, like them. People don't care if I, Molly Ronan, wear their clothes. People don't care if I, Molly Ronan, do anything. That's the difference between me and "celebrities." People care about them. Why? Why care about them and not me? Because they are a teen pop star? Because everyone else cares about them? One day will you care about me? And why do I care if you care about me? I can stand on my own, even if everybody hates me. I know that isn't the case, I know my family cares about me, I know Abby cares about me, Josh must care about me a little bit to keep texting me and help set up that surprise party, Katelyn has to care about me after all I've done for her, and I have other friends who care for me too. Why do I want more? Why do I want people to care about me? Why do I want more people to be interested in my life? Is it because I think that my life is worthy of that attention? Right now, it isn't. One day I want it to be though. Why do I want that? I don't even know. Does everybody want that? I think so to a certain extent.

So I guess this blog is me holding onto the want to be significant. I want people to care about my life. People that I don't care about, I want them to care about me. HOLD IT. That was a bold statement. But that's what fans are aren't they? People that care about you, but you don't care about them. You do care about them in the masses, but not individually. When you have more than a billion viewers on youtube, what's one less? Then again, what does the word "care" mean? I'm not going to get into that. I ask too many questions that I can't answer.

I'm cold. I want some hot chocolate.