Gues what one of my vocab words this week is?

Procrastination. Ha. Because that's what I'm doing now. I really shouldn't procrastinate. But I don't want to do work. If I keep this mindset for the rest of my life I'm never going to become a successful businesswoman. Well, I'll save doing work for then.

I was supposed to have a driving appointment...now, but he moved it to tomorrow. So instead I get to procrastinate all day today. Gah. I really should do something. Maybe. Maybe not.

Yesterday Abby said she was talking to my "future boyfriend," do you guys (referring to possible future readers) know who she was talking about? Probably if you actually read this thing. When was the last time I mentioned him? Going to look. February 8th and before that the 4th. It's the 12th. Actually that is a good while. Anyways. Why did I mention this, other than the fact that I am doing this instead of homework. I don't know. I guess it is because it sort of made me think. Now whatever I say next don't hold to me, I overthink everything.

But is that what is going to happen eventually? You know when a girl is interested in a guy and he seems interested in her back, they start dating, correct? I don't really know, I've never had it happen before. But what does that even entail? I know it is different for every couple. So I can't look at Abby's relationship and expect that have that. I can't really base my relationships off anything, except what I want and expect, and that will change with different people. Gasp, did I just hint at the fact that in my life i'll have more than one boyfriend? Yeah I did. But blah. My mind is all messy right now. Let's focus on the guy that might actually have the label "boyfriend" is in the future. Do I think he could be? Yes. Do I think it might end up that he never is? Yes. I don't know. It's like I'm in high school so everything is sort of hard. I've read things about in college, when you meet someone you're interested in you immediately go out with them and skip the whole "friends" part, but that doesn't mean you are "boyfriend/girlfriend." But for some reason in high school the steps go like this: friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend. There is almost no in between. I'm not ready for that jump, because it seems so huge to me. I don't want to jump half-heartedly. I want to be ready. I think I'm moving in the right direction though. The other day Josh waited while I got my stuff at my locker to talk to me. Everyone else had already gone off but he waited and talked to me. I didn't talk to him much because I had a driving appointment I had to get to, and that had been an extremely long and tiring day but I was glad he did. And I still text him every night and he always texts me back. And in the next two weeks there are two possible out-of-school outings where I would see him, Justin Bieber movie and sledding.

Now don't forget just two posts ago I said that I was happy being single. And I am. I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. I've gone through 16 years of my life without one, I can go a while longer. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have a boyfriend if the opportunity arose. It's all complicated thoughts. Really this is all in my head. It's not that big of deal, because I am just going to keep doing what I've been doing, because that is where we're at. But still blah.

Another thought. Why are people friends with me? I mean I am different than everybody, that what makes me me. But why did the choose me instead of someone else? Why do they want to spend time with me? Why don't they ask their other friend to come with them? Why do they text me everyday? Why not someone else? There are more than 6 billion people in the world, why me? I'm not asking because I don't think I'm worthy, I am just really curious. It just makes me think.

Enough thinking.