wait. it's only tuesday?

hi. i want to let everyone know that this is my complaining/venting/ranting outlet. it does not mean i'm a spoiled brat who doesn't appreciate what i have and all i do is complain. out of this i almost never complain which is probably why i have this blog and i have kept it going. this is where i say everything that society doesn't want me to say.

i'm tired. i think that the past three weeks have just caught up to me now. i am very tired. and i get to go babysit two little girls in about 10 minutes. yippee!

but today was another horrible-ish day. it's really hard to make a new friend when all day you are so annoyed that you get stuck in that mindset and you can't get out of it to be yourself around them. so if i was to sum up what i seem like to my wish-would-be-friend: quiet, serious, cold, annoyed, warning: stay away. not exactly what i want to come across as

so you know that, well you probably don't know but you are about to know, that sometimes i think like i am writing in my blog. i just think in sentences about this about what i am going to write in my blog. sometimes i write about that stuff and sometimes i don't. but now i'm going to write about a thought that dawned on me. i want to be Sawyer's high school savior. i'm not sure how that sounds to you so i will elaborate. savior means someone that someone goes to whenever they need either advice, or support, or just someone to ask a question. Abby is my savior and so much more because she is my twin. savior could be a step up from a friend or could not even relate to friend. someone you can trust.

the only problem with all of that is normally it grows over time because trust isn't something you just gain over a day. but what would happen if i walked up to Sawyer and said "i'm going to be your savior from hi!school, like your go-to". i have no idea and i imagined myself doing that but i have no idea if i would. it could be the stupidest thing i ever did. so i'm not going to do it. instead i'll just wait around and show him that when i am not completely annoyed by the people around me i can be an amazing friend.

friend. key word there. friend.

and just in case you were wondering, my day as told to Abby through ichat:

this morning started off with my sister scaring me, on accident of course but it still scared me. then before homeroom was kind of awkward i guess you could say? but you were there. then spanish was fine. office aide was fine. biology wasn't good because i got stuck working in a group with Codie and Oliver - who should have graduated last year. and in biology Gina sits in front of me and Codie behind me and they are SOOOOOO annoying. all i hear all class "Gina, Gina, Gina" or "Codie, Codie, Codie" it is pretty awful. lunch was fine, you were there. then gym was awful as well because we were playing soccer and i got the ball once but then i like passed it into no where because no one was open and i didn't touch it again even though i was open throughout the whole game but that is pretty much the definition of gym class. and by this time i was pretty upset at Katelyn for just walking away without leaving me to walk by myself. so i am getting more and more upset at her by the day. then algebra, Sawyer wasn't there cause he dropped out. English was kind of annoying. we didn't have a sub when we got there so Devin got up in the front of the room was like all like "Miss McNulty" and Sawyer got up and went to the front with her at one point, and Casey and Heather. and Heather's laugh is so annoying. so so so so so so annoying. and Devin's hat was giving me a headache. anyways i pretty much ignored Katelyn and read my book while we waited for the sub, then we took the quiz and after the quiz i did my vocab then read so i would not have to converse with Katelyn. then we walked to history and Katelyn pretty much walked without me again which just put me in a bad mood for history. but when i got into history only Steph and Sawyer were in there so I asked Sawyer about dropping out of Algebra and we talked about our dislike for Ms. Schott and then Katelyn popped up and out of nowhere and just stood there as we talked which annoyed me as well. and then we moved onto science and then the bell ring. that whole conversation was extremely awkward because i was still radiating "i do not like Katelyn today" rays throughout the whole thing and i was exhausted because my lack of sleep just caught up to me at the end of the period before. and then Sawyer left to carry Heather's stuff for her at the end of the period because Devin didn't want to. and that was my day. how was yours?