this is my 100th post.

why yes you read correctly. this is my 100th post. and i have a lot to write about. i'll time myself like i have done in the past. started at 6:56pm on september 2nd.

big ticket item of the day: it feels like i never left school. everything is also exactly the same except for the follow things 1) new teachers 2) different classes 3) different kids in the class 4) HORRIBLE bells 5) a few new kids. nothing else has changed. now look at that list it may seem like those are different things but they aren't really. i wake up and i manage to get myself ready while being half-dead. i drag myself through each class some of which i have friends with but some i don't. if i do have friends, talk to them during the class, if not just be the silent person. people don't realize how much strength it takes for us people who are quiet to just go to class each day. not that i doubt going to class because i know that for my successful career to come true i need to struggle through high school just so i can have that 100-80 grade next to the honor class for the college and get the basics behind me. i'm going to be one of those people who work hard and have a successful career, not one of those people drop out of highschool but become millionaires. no. my hard-work is going to get me somewhere and i'm not going to settle for less because that would just be a huge waste. if i was planning on bagging groceries the rest of my life i wouldn't be going to school.

it's almost like deja vu in a way or that thing when the same thing happens over again, you know? first day of 9th grade go to Mr. Touchette's room get my schedule and locker combination to the same locker that i have this year. manage to find all my classes, this year a little easier. listen to my teachers go on about honor expectations and how if you don't think this class is right for you, um, this class is right for me because i am going to stick it out. i'm not dropping an honor class. i completely understand that for some people that is the best choice. i'm not going to be one of those people. if i can't suffer through an honors class and get a good grade then how the heck am i going to become one of those successful people in the real world. i know that one honors class isn't that big of a deal but i'm not a quitter and if i can survive three honor classes then i can survive the AP class next year and i can survive anything. if i can make an 1000 pound animal do what i want to i can do well in a honors class and i can succeed.

- break at 7:09 to set the table-

- come back at 7:12 -

okay i got a little off topic there because i forgot something. some deja vu. the new cute boy. bahahaha. i can see you laughing now and i'm smiling a bit myself. yeah there is 150 something kids in my class but still i know all of those kids good enough to know that none of them care a bit about me, well not currently. part of my plan for this year was to be louder during class and let me get to know me more but eehhhhh not working at all so we might save that til next year. there isn't anyone i really want to get to know anymore. but back to the new cute boy. last year his name happened to be Matt but he turned out to be a creeper and total flirt. so yeah dead lead there. this year it happens to be someone who went to Abby's elementary school. downfall there because people already know him. downfall that since he is also a new guy every single girl is looking at him thinking the exact same thing as me. including Devin who i was blessed enough to sit next to during English cause Katelyn ditched me for Vicky, same old same old but i have to use what friends i have in what class. anyways last year Matt was Katelyn's friend from elementary school. and Devin had a crush on him and probably still does. WAYYY TOOO SIMILARRR. so what am i doing different this year? umm i don't really have a plan yet. i was going to talk to him in algebra cause he sits diagonally from me but i don't have the guts. buttt listen to this in english i managed to ask him his favorite ice cream for a stupid worksheet, which happens to be chocolate and raspberry which - oh my goodness- just happen to be mine too!

- break for dinner at 7:18 -

- back at 7:44 -

but only downside of that was he was walking away from me so i followed him saying "Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer" until he turned around and i asked him and he asked me my name which was fine yeah yeah. but if i learned anything from last year it is don't fall face first cause it's not worth it. let him fall face first and then just happen to follow. i'm not worried about it. what happens happens. that shall be my moto "what happens happens".

if i could change one thing and only one thing about school this year it would be Abby's year. i would give her as many possible classes with me and Colin and the rest of her friends. i would make it so she would never have to see the icky people at all because their schedules would bring them different places. we would have lunch together everyday instead of every other day and everything would go as smoothly for her as it did for her sisters. she would have a wonderful day everyday minus those few bad days that everyone needs to make the good days seem extremely good and help you learn something. i would also change outside of school that i would know what to say to her online when she is frustrated or such. i always feel like i say the wrong thing or i don't make it better. or i say too much or i don't say enough. but i can't change who i am and i can only try my best.

i hate being a typical teenager.

and then the barn didn't go well today. first this stuck up girl at my barn who i pretty much hate thought that i was wearing no pants because i have tan riding pants. hahahaha. no. i am wearing freaking pants. then i cleaned my stall. the cute older guy showed up to clean stalls of course so now i have to just keep an eye out for him. i made him look when i was pouring my water into the wheelbarrow. i almost poured it all over me but i managed to get all except a tiny little splash that fell on the floor. then i rode in the ring which was fine but then we went out into the woods and my horse decided to turn around about two minutes in the trail ride. yeah. he turned around and wanted to go back. i was sort of freaked out because i didn't know what he was going to do. i mean i have heard all these stories about things going wrong on trail ride. you sort of store them all up for a time like that. i was crying but i managed to go but the whole time i was fighting him to slow down to stay behind Murray. then we were going past one point and we heard a stick break in the woods. then again. so there was something out there. i was a little freaked out by that and he probably could feel that cause then he decided to turn around but this time he decided to add in little hops and such and that was it. i got off and my mother and i walked until we were almost there then i made myself get back on. i wasn't going to lead my horse back to the barn where everyone would see me and ask a billion questions and instantly my reputation would be gone or destroyed or whatever. so we were way ahead from my mother and i was just holding him back the hole time. we made it back he spooked once which was just fuel to the fire. we made it back in one piece no one seemed to be able to tell that i was crying. you see my anger, fear, and tears are all connected way too much. then when we left my mother told me i shouldn't blame my horse because we just needed to get use to each other so i would be able to deal when he tried those little things. i just needed to get familiar with him. yeah i knew that and i do know that but honestly after my day of school and being exhausted i was just pretty much done.

so before i go get in the shower and fall asleep i am going to go through my dad.

-arrive.

-go to my locker get spanish stuff.

-spanish and try to struggle through that class with no friends except Sarah who i have barely talked to since 6th grade so try to make awkward conversation with her

-go to my locker and get stuff for office aide

-have fun being official like in the office

-go to my locker and get bio stuff

-go to bio and struggle through with all the werido people after having an honors science class last year. seriously, this class has the most annoying people in it

-(A) go to my locker drop off my stuff. do to lunch with Abby. go back to locker and get gym clothes

-(B) stay in bio or another period then go to locker and go to lunch with Stephanie.

- go to locker and get algebra stuff

-make it through algebra with Stephanie in front of me and cute new guy diagonal

-go to my locker and get english stuff

-go to english and suffer through with Katelyn acting like Vicky is more important that me and try not to get a headache from Devin and Matt

-go to history, no time to go to locker between classes

-talk to Stephanie and Katelyn gets pushed aside in this class, well she has Vicky again now doesn't she

-go to my locker and get what i need for homeroom and go home

AHHHHH and i'm suppose to do that for a whole year? GAHHHHHHH. now i have to go to sleep. i'm sooooooo tired and i have another day tomorrow.