my day was just ruined by my parents. they don't listen to each other. so instead they butt heads. the way they talk to each other. they are snappy and rude. they don't know how to mask what they are thinking in their voices to give the other person a chance to explain where they are coming from without that tone of voice. tone of voice just a big one. it's frustrating. and because i'm just their daughter i can't tell them what i see in their communication with each other. and i don't know if they realize that their mood effects the other three people in the house. they have so much influence over as. we are scared of them pretty much. if they are in a mad mood you stay away at all costs. you don't talk back. you want to say what you are thinking but you know to bite your tongue because you could make it worse. so thanks you guys you just ruined my first blue ribbon in an IEA show because of this dinner. i don't even care if we go on a vacation as all as you guys can get along. please.

i read a blog that Abby wrote of me today and i love her so much. i say this a lot but i don't think she realizes what she is to me. she is my rock. no matter what i do or say she is there. i could annoy her to no extent but she still wouldn't leave. god, i hope not. i could have no friends but still have her. thankfully my bad friend making skills got lucky and got me her.

so yeah. today was the first IEA show of the season. the first time i ever showed jumping at an IEA show. we didn't have a great round jumping, i got one wrong lead but i did it. I Did It. i went out there and jumped and did it. now that i have done it i know that i can do it again. but guess what else? i got 6th place out of 11th in that class. what would i have gotten if i hadn't gotten that wrong lead? bella got 2nd in that class which is also wonderful, she deserves it. but seriously. bella is a better rider than me, she has been riding longer than me, and we are in the same division. could i have beaten her if i had gotten that lead? i have no idea. i can only imagine. and i can't really look back at that class. i was on automatic. instincts took over in that class. you won't ever know exactly what i am talking about until you experience it yourself.

then my flat class. i wasn't too worried about this. this would be my third year doing flat classes. i had tried out a bunch of horses when i was horse shopping too. just climb on and go. i jumped them too which helped a lot. but anyways i got this pony that was crooked and unsteady. we had already trotted and cantered in one direction and trotted in the other when we had to stop so we could have a re-ride because one of the horses was acting up. so then we did it all over again. great advantage for me because now i already knew what this horse was like from riding him a bit already. so we did it again. i had some trouble getting the canter at first, he trotted around a bit longer than he should of. but guess what? i got first place. FIRST PLACE. all of that hard work paid off. you should have seen my grin. i was thrilled. it made everything worth it.

now that is something to be proud of. and i am.