so it's 7:20. a song i really like just came on shuffle. it's called Contagious by Boys Like Girls. i also enjoy the song Go by them which has become sort of the definition of my life. go listen to it. it's on their album Love Drunk which is another wonderful song. go listen to Go by Boys Like Girls.
i didn't come here earlier because i told Abby what happened today so i didn't feel the need to come and say it on here too. here is my plan: i'll copy and paste what i said to her and then i'll expand and such.
so today homeroom i walk in and i was going to talk to the Friend because he was sitting there like he always is then Heather came in so I was like....okay not going to go deal with Heather. so instead I talked to Mollie, then Katelyn then that was it and we left. Spanish fine. Study Hall fine. Biology fine. Lunch was pretty not-good. i sat with Steph/Shelbie/Heather/Lisa and Becca joined us. which was fine. so after i finished eating i went over to Katelyn and asked her if she wanted to go to the bathroom with me and she made a big deal out of it like, i don't wanna go anywhere with you. it annoyed me extremely much so. so when i came back i wasn't going to go over to that table which now has Kayla Peters there sitting next to Sawyer which annoys me as well since she isn't friends with anyone at that table that i know of. but Katelyn called me over and i don't even know what she said so i went back to the other table. but then Shelbie and Steph and Heather were throwing things which i didn't want to be apart of so i went back to the other table where Katelyn pretty much ignored me which made me even more upset at her. then algebra i didn't talk to the Friend at all. but i think he is dropping out of that class because he asked Ms. Snot to sign something. then English no convo again and Katelyn annoyed me once again. History we were in the lab and he and Heather sat opposite of us in the middle thing. Katelyn and Steph were really annoying, not doing any work or anything. and this was the only time he said something when i said "none of you have read Misty of Chincoteague?" and he said that he had but then he went back to his work before i could talk more about it and that was it. then he and Heather left early, him carrying her stuff since Devin wasn't there. and that was my fail of a day. so this whole quest for new friend thing isn't working. it's been two days in a row.
so i'm pretty upset even though my horoscope said i had no room for negative feelings today. hahaha. can you really go through a day without thinking at least one negative thought? i wish i could. and who believes their horoscopes? well since mine have made a lot of sense lately, i may. but i also don't like that Katelyn has the same horoscope as me. she does right? early July? yeah i think so.
another amazing song - Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift
Katelyn has been annoying me so much. 1) adkgdkgjadklsfksdjflkaklkdfjak i don't really feel like going into it. if she wasn't the only person in my biology class and didn't sit right next to me in english i would ditch her. next year if i have Sawyer as my friend i'm ditching her pretty much. maybe that transition will happen sooner throughout this year. friends and such change pretty frequently. i'll start isolating myself from her now and only talk to her when need be. but it's going to be hard since i don't have that many friends to get rid of one. am i the reason i don't have that many friends or am i just picky? i have no idea. probably a combination of both. i'm not going to let a friend just walk all over me or something like that but also as you can tell i don't make friends easily. i think they need a friend-making class in school. it would be so much more helpful than most of these classes i'm taking.
if i just fast-forwarded through pretty much all of fall, the beginning months of school then i think it would be a lot better. most girls would have given up on Sawyer and maybe would leave him alone. then i would have more of a chance of getting my friend. maybe if they just knew i wanted/needed a friend they would help me along but i doubt it. the less friends he has the better chance for them. gah. i have had that way of thinking too but it's true cause why would he need another one when he all the people he would want to talk to in the world? what makes me special?
i wish i knew what he was thinking. just so i could work off of that. what does he think when our eyes meet? is he thinking "why is this creeper girl looking at me again, she does that all the time!" or is he thinking "i wish she would talk to me because i have no idea what to say to her but i want to talk to her". god i wish i knew so badly. so badly. so abby if you figure out anything you better tell me right away. my little mind soothing because it over-thinks and has difficulties simplifying and just doing.
but now i can't talk about this stuff without thinking about how my life could be so much worse. i could spend hours saying how my life could be worse. i am so lucky and so blessed. if this is the worst of my problems that i don't have that many it seems. but if you have been in a teenage girl's mind you know how we magnify problems and make them seem much worse than they are. but the thing is i realize that and i know so much from reading that you would think i wouldn't make the same mistakes. i do make the same mistakes but i realize it when i make them so it is easier to learn from them i guess. really i should be counting my blessings right now, that would take hours as well. anyways now that i have myself all, shut up and stop complaining Molly, i don't know what else to write about.
just to put this blog post in perspective of what is happening in the world around us, last night were the VMAs where Kayne West interrupted Taylor Swift's speech when she won the female music video to say that Beyonce had an amazing music video. 1) jerk-a-zoid. 2) it's a teenager, let her live in her moment 3) it has nothing to do with color and i hate when people bring stuff up like that. do you know what year it is? 2009, almost 2010. we are over and done with racialism, don't need to bring it back up. wait, it is still going on in some places of the world which we need to get rid of cause honestly it's only you old farts who still think of people as black and white. just thought i would mention that because i saw some comments about that relating to this subject 4) taylor swift is amazing and beyonce was nice for calling her back up 5) that is pretty much all i know up the celebrities and such you know cause i'm out of that loop
so tomorrow i have school. it's a tuesday. and i don't really want to go. i could learn just as much as i do at school at home with the same books. minus the social aspect which i don't really want to learn but know that it will help me later in life. so i am pretty much just struggling through high school the best i can because i really don't wanna be there.
also listen to Funny The Way It Is by The Dave Matthews Band after you listen to Go by Boys Like Girls. actually i'm going to post the lyrics to Go on here because i pretty much love that song. i have listened to it right before i went to bed several times. i'm going to type them all out as i go along listening to it. it is <3
little change of the heart
little light in the dark
little home that you just might find your way up out of here
cause you've been hiding for days
wasted and wasting way
but i got a little hope that today you'll face your fears
yeah i know it ain't easy.
i know that it's hard
follow the lights to the city
get up and go
take a chance and be strong
you could spend your whole life holding on
don't look back
just go
take a breath
move along
you could spend your whole life holding on
you could spend your whole life holding on
believe the tunnel can end
believe your body can mend
yeah i know you can make it through
cause i believe in you
so lets go
put up a fight
lets go make everything alright
go on and take a shot
go give it all you've got
i know it's not easy
i know that it's hard
no its not always pretty
get up and go
take a chance and be strong
you could spend your whole life holding on
don't look back
just go
take a breath
move along
you could spend your whole life holding on
you could spend your whole life holding on
you don't wanna wake up to the telephone ring
are you sitting down i need to tell you something
enough is enough you can stop waiting to breathe
and don't wait up for me
get up and go
take a chance
and be strong
you could spend your whole life holding on
don't look back
just go
take a breath
move along
or you could spend your whole life holding on
get up and go
take a chance
and be strong
or you could spend your whole life holding on
don't look back
just go
take a breath
move along
or you could spend your whole life holding on
you could spend your whole life holding on
don't spend your whole life holding on
yeah
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