so my life has become victim to schedules, routines, and such. but hey, i sort of like that cause i'm not too good with change. i like things to be constant and such. so that is good. but even i get bore of it. but seeing as it is only september i shouldn't be but i'm starting to get there.
i could talk about riding right now but i'm not going to. i could talk about school but i'm not going to. i'm not really sure what i am going to write about. i thought about writing a letter to my future readers of this blog but i'm not going to. so what am i going to write about? no idea. oh wait. i know now. Abby cause i love her so much.
Abby is an amazing person. she is going through and dealing with a lot of shit right now. but she is going to make it through. i hope she knows that i am always here no matter what. if Michelle had said anything or done anything today during lunch i would have teared her apart. smart idea? probably not since then Michelle will have it out for me now but who cares. i would stand up for Abby any day anywhere.
it reminds me of when Shelbie was talking shit about Katelyn and she had the guts to say something to us about it. she got teared apart by me. then she went over to Michelle and the two of them whispered and talked about us and kept looking at us. Mollie was sitting with me then and we laughed every time they looked at us. and if you bring that up to Mollie to this day I am sure she would start laughing and say how amazing i was. yeah i was just standing up for my friend.
i wish i knew what other people think when they look at me. i know it shouldn't matter what other people think but i wonder. if i knew what they thought would I change who i am? probably not. i'm happy with who i am. i do need a bit more confidence though. lately i have been getting it from people around me. but i'm working on it.
goal for the day: smile/laugh at least once every hour. no fake smiles, real ones only.
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