day thirty.

i lied. i said when i finished this it would be 2011. i thought december only had thirty days. it has thirty-one. so here we go last day.

challenge one - day thirty - anything you want to talk about
i'll be talking about that later in the post thank you very much. (:

challenge two - day thirty - take a picture of yourself right now and post it, or post the most recent one you can find
well the last picture i took of myself was wednesday after bowling. because i actually had a genuine smile on my face. let me see if i like that picture or i'll take another one. ehhhh. i don't really feel like posting those or taking one. so OH WELL. i started off this challenge thing strong but now i have other things to talk about.

LIKE IT'S THE LAST DAY OF 2010. 2010 went by really fast. i want to go see what i posted at the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010. brb. i was honestly such a loser. i didn't post anything on December 31st or on January 1st. i mean come on. so i guess i have to talk about it now.

i don't think new years is such a huge deal. it's not like everything is going to change tomorrow just because it is a new year. the only thing different is we will write "2011" instead of "2010." everything else is the same. but still i think people like the idea of a new year because it holds hope. this year i'll do this. this year will be better than last year. it is a universal point that everyone can go from. sure you could say "from this point on everything will be better" but it doesn't seem to have as much promise as the beginning of the new year. everyone makes resolutions and most of them won't last but at the beginning everyone has hope.

am i going to make resolutions? hm. i wasn't planning on it. but if i was it would go like this. 1. don't worry. 2. have fun. 3. talk more. 4. be yourself. 5. don't be afraid. 6. do what you want to do.

i feel like those are good resolutions. you know. 2010 wasn't a horrible year but it wasn't spectacular either. when i am thinking back i can't think of one amazing thing that happened, mostly because i don't think of my life in years. i can't really remember what happened in 2010. when i am trying to think in the past everything important that happened in 2010 isn't laid out for me. well good thing i have the blog so i can remember.

OKAY so enough of that new year stuff. onto the good stuff.

i was up until 11:30 texting Josh. yeah. we texted pretty much consistently for six hours. do people normally do that? well abby and i text back and forth all the time but you know it isn't really one continuous conversation. and i text dana sometimes but not that often, only when we have something we actually have to say. we don't just text about really nothing, which josh and i pretty much did. my phone organizes all my texts by person and says the number of texts for the person. i am not sure if it is number of texts i sent them, or number of texts back and forth, including the ones they sent me. it works up to a point. like on abby's it has said 206 texts for a long time. once it reaches 200 it sort of stop works but up to there it seems pretty accurate. want to take a guess as to how many texts josh and i have sent back and forth Wednesday night and yesterday? well Nicole and I texted back and for 35 times in that time period. I have texted Bella a total of 49 times, and that is from August, but i don't like texting her. And i have texted Katelyn a total of 47 times since September, but same thing there i don't text her often. okay so i have texted josh 86 times. again i don't know if that is texts i have sent or total. i am thinking total between the two of us. but yeah. that is sort of a lot.

texting is a two way conversation. so it's not like it was just me. in order to text for that long and that much you have to have two people contributing to the conversation. which we had. back over the summer i texted Danny once and it was like five texts long and we never texted again. because it was mostly me fueling the conversation and him just responding. this was a two way conversation. so that's a good thing right?

but at the same time i can't have a friendship solely through text messages. seriously. if we can't talk in person then yeah. but i think the text messages help. and until monday, when i'll see him next, i'll continue to text him. i'll text him later in the day since he made me wait until 5 yesterday.

that's another thing. is there like text messaging etiquette? like you don't text back too fast because then it will seem like you are just holding onto the phone waiting for them to respond. but you can't take too long either. so normally i will text back in the amount of time it took them to text me back. except for abby, i just text her back whenever i feel like it which is normally right away. but that doesn't always apply. but for the most part he always responded within 10 minutes, except for when he went down the basement but then he apologized for the wait and said why. and i did the same thing, it took me a while when i was trying to get our conversation on here for abby, so i stopped texting everyone during that time. then i apologized for taking so long and said blame abby. so you know.

the big question is does he actually want to talk to me or is he just being nice? well lets see each side. for he actually wants to talk to me: 1. he texted me first. 2. he kept responding in a reasonable time. 3. if it took him a while to respond he said why. 4. he asked me questions 5. it seemed like he liked texting back and forth 6. the reason why we stopped texted was because he said he had to go to sleep because he gets up late enough already 7. he said we will have to continue our conversation tomorrow. for he is just being nice: 1. i sounded like a fool often 2. he never actually asked for my number 3. i asked him to text me (but he did, he didn't have to) SO i guess it sounds like he actually wanted to text me. alright then.

so let me sum this up. texting josh makes me happy. but i am not too excited about this because i need to actually talk to him. i am going to have to figure out a way to slowly ease him into conversation because listen to this. i was in the car with maeve and my mom and maeve asked who i was texting i said i was texting Nicole. and she said oh tell her i said hi. and then she said "remember when i beat her brother all the time at riding?" and i was like "yeah, i just went bowling with him yesterday" then there was an awkward sort of silence. and then i asked maeve if she had anything else she wanted to say to Nicole. and that was it. maybe it was only an uncomfortable silence to me. but hey i went to Danny's birthday party and my mom was okay with that. so i just have to ease my family into this, IF this turns into anything. it may not. so i can't get too freaked out yet. so yeah. until then i am happy just texting him. and then we'll see how it goes one day at a time.

and Nicole is such a lovely person. on Monday i have to go and find her and thank her in person. i unloaded everything on about Pride onto her. and her is what she says: "oh my god im so sorry! :( but i actually know how u feel i used to have a halflinger named callie and she was so cute but she sooked at everything and i constantly had bad falls and one time she jumped on my leg luckily nothing was broken but we had to sell her because my instructor and my mom were worried for my safety and it was really hard but if i continued to ride her it could have been even more unsafte and it was the hardest thing ever" and then i text her back with another long paragraph and she says: "its really okay i understand it is really is hard i'm her if u wanna talk, but it took me a long time to get over callie but i think about it as she made me a better more cautious rider and its hard but she helped me to become a better rider and there will be a horse for you that is absolutely amazing i know" and she started to make her cry. but seriously. nicole is so awesome. i wish we started being friend earlier. i am pretty sure i can count her as a friend now that we have been bowling twice and and i unloaded all of that onto her. but yeah.

i never told you blog about pride. but my mom doesn't want me to ride him anymore. so there you go.

and on top of all this i might be going to my first funeral soon. my riding instructor's father had a heart attack and is in the hospital. Maeve sent me a facebook chat message that said "Percy is going to die this weekend :'(" which is horrible. Percy is an amazing horse person. someone said once "Percy has forgotten more about horses than I'll ever know" which is so true. he is such a great guy. it's going to be hard on his family.

SO THIS HAS BEEN AN EXCITING WEEK. it started off that i was in a bit of a slump. then i had a wonderful time at abby's house. then i went bowling. then maura was sick. then i found out that i am most likely going to have to sell my horse. then i texted josh for six hours. then i texted nicole about my horse problems. then i found out percy is going to die. then my aunt is going over today. then i am sleeping over katelyn's. good lord. this all happened/will happen within three days and i did nothing before that.

whoa.