sigh and then sigh.

i am in one of those moods where i am tired and thinking and sort of curious. i don't know. i can't get into the mood whenever i want to.

then it is sort of destroyed when your cellphone goes off telling you have a new text message so you rush to see what it is and it ends up it isn't important anyways.

the way this whole life thing is set up is weird. it makes it hard. well i guess that goes without saying. but not hard in the sense you may think but i don't know what you are thinking. that is another hard thing. i am talking about the whole relationships with other people. and please don't use the word relationship in the way like you're dating someone, i mean relations with someone. everyone is going through life with facebook and cellphones, myself included, but how much are we missing out on. about other people. we just take for granted the other people in our lives. we don't take the time to talk to them. you see a stranger in big y, you just walk right by. you meet someone in driving school, you never talk to them again because it isn't convenient. even your friends, how well do you really know them? other than their favorite color. seriously. i am guilty of this too. it's just the normal and we don't know how to do anything else. if i was going to go change this i don't how know to. all we can do is communicate but sometimes that makes it hard. we can talk but that only says so much. we need to figure out other ways. i don't know. i am just typing.

i'm a simple girl. i don't think i'm that complex. you just have to take the time to talk to me. more than once. actually a lot. i can't make friends easily. maybe because i think that way. i pay attention to little things or at least i try to. i'm not perfect. but it takes me a long time to consider myself a friend. sure i have almost 200 friends on facebook but i don't count pretty much any of them. why the heck is it so hard? it can't be something you can just learn, you must have been born with some of it. like your personality.

i have simple emotions. what i feel everyday isn't something new. i'm sure a million other girls felt the other way. that's just the way it is whether i like it or not. if i could i would share my emotions with everyone. that's a lie and a half. if i wanted to share my emotions with everyone this blog wouldn't be private now would it. but still. gah.

i want to get to know people. seriously. why? because they are so darn interesting. but not really. that's not a good answer. but we just push people aside to stereotypes all the time. she's friend with that girl. he looks like he isn't very nice. and while some of those stereotypes may be true what about the rest? you can't get to know someone through their facebook status updates.

i've had blog posts like this before and really they are useless. they will sit here and maybe Abby will read them. they won't make a difference. maybe they help me, maybe they don't. they aren't going to make a change in my life. i will still freak out the next time i see Danny online because of this plan i figure out as an excuse to talk to me. i will still hold my breath every time i hear a car drive by until i see that it isn't Adam's green truck. i will see check both of their facebook pages every single day. i will just hope that they are doing the same to me when i know they really aren't.

and i will still eat ice cream. and sleep. and ride. and then procrastinate on my AP homework. and go on the computer. and not get to know people. and i want to go to sleep and eat ice cream right now.

and the song that sort of inspired this wonderful post:
Simple Girl - Dale Earnhart Jr
i bought it yesterday and i've already listened to it 17 times
now i would include the lyrics but i can't find them. it is an unknown song by a small time guy. probably a simple guy.

see you tomorrrrrrrow.