i want to sing. right now. so freakin bad.

and no i don't want to be a billionaire. actually i do but hey that was just an allusion to the song with the lyrics "i want to be a billionaire so frickin' bad" but you know anyways.

you see i enjoy singing but i am no good at it. i was just not blessed with a voice that people would enjoy listening to. i guess i could go to classes or whatever but sometimes you just have to take what you got. i am blessed with loads of other thing so i'm not really complaining. i accept that singing is not going to be a career choice for me and i will never get a solo in anything. that is okay dokay with me.

but i still like to sing. and i enjoy singing to people when i feel comfortable. like i could imagine myself singing along to someone's ipod during break during driving school. i sing in the car all the time. i sang during gym class when i walked around the track with Katelyn. i would serenade pretty much anyone that i felt comfortable doing to. seriously. you want me to serenade you? as long as you don't mind that it sounds pretty bad i will sing to you. simple as that.

i want to sing now but Maura is reading over there and my parents are upstairs. overall it is quiet and i don't want to disturb the peace.

you know i think about singing during driving school but when you plan something out like that, it never goes like how you plan it to so does that mean it won't happen at all? or what if it does happen, does that mean you can predict the future? thoughts are complicated. no one knows exactly how much they effect events and such, and if they even do at all.

but if i want to sing i should be able to whenever i want to. ehhhh. now i am just blabbering on because i don't want to go to bed. i would be watching Pretty Little Liars now but it didn't tape so i can't watch it until tomorrow and maybe not even then because i have a packed full day.

jeeeeeezus. oh no was that disrespectful using the z? i was just going to say jeez but then i added the "us". oh goodness. six hours of driving school each day is affecting me a lot. or effecting me? i don't know and i don't care to look it up or whatever. ahahhhhhhhahhahhhh.

i could really use a wish right now.

and i could really use a trip to the barn when Adam Munska is there thank you very much. and i could really like that driving school was over. i could really like if i got to know Danny Hentz more. i could really like if i didn't need to sleep. i could really use some food right now cause i'm hungry. i could really stop using the words "i could really" but heey if B.O.B. and Haley Williams can repeat it over and over again why can't I?

Abbbby I can not wait to see you tomorrow. Like really. Hopefully you are all caught up on these but you might not check before your big first day on the job and I can forgive you for that. You know where I will be all day.

I really don't want to go to bed.
I really just want to get through another day.
I really wish I knew what was coming so I could prepare for it.
I really wish I was...I don't know. I just don't.
I really wish i could tell my story to everyone so they would just know and i wouldn't have to do the whole getting to know them thing
i really wish everyone could just get into my mind, you know you are more than welcome to just pop in
i really wish i could find the right words because you know i can't
i really wish i could figure this whole thing out.
i really wish i knew what "thing" was standing in that last sentence.
i really wish i could stop doing this and go to bed.
i can do that.