since you care about my life enough to be reading this i'm going to tell you about it.

hey. -head nod and slight smile-
i'm molly. -bigger smile-
oh yeah?
i'll shut up now.

sorry. i'm tired.

but i had a wonderful time with Abby at the movies. the movie was really good. I liked seeing how facebook was put together. of course who knows who true that story actually is. i would like to be believe it's true.

the Rivards never showed up but that's perfectly fine. sure i would have liked for them to be there but them not being there didn't make me have less of a good time. if you can follow that. i enjoy seeing abby outside of school.

WOAH FACEBOOK JUST CHANGED AGAIN. i wonder who was wired in and did that. the groups have been updated and now the little friends on chat thing is all pictures instead of the names with the pictures.

anyways. hi. what was i talking about?

i need to watch the Rocky Horror Show, the original. I've never seen it before and Glee is doing a whole episode on it and if i don't watch it i won't get anything. i'll do that in my free time.

that was supposed to be funny because i don't have any free time. two magazines came in the mail today but i'm not going to have any time to read. tomorrow: wake up, go have my lesson, go right to Mt. Holyoke to help set up, go home, do homework, go driving because i have a reputation for not using my car and everyone is getting upset that i have a car that i don't use and i am also getting a reputation for not liking driving and katelyn apparently thinks i'm a bad driver because abby told her that but abby said she never did but whatever katelyn aggravates me a lot but i don't want to talk about her. then go to sleep. then wake up and go to the horse show for the whole day. next day is monday. i have a history quiz. then i have an essay due at the end of the week. and all the other school activities. then the next weekend is the 4h halloween party which i am supposed to help decorate for which i wish i hadn't signed up for, and then spooky sleepover. i am kind of hoping someone invites me to a better party so i don't have to be there for that. but whatever.

now what do i talk about? 1) nothing 2) random things no one talks about 3) something relevant to my life now and respond to abby's post, i could talk to her about it in person but we know how that goes. actually we don't know how that goes because we don't talk about things like that. we should. like we should talk on the phone more often like we did today except for the fact when i'm on the phone everyone can overhear what i say. anyways.

now i'm not sure what to say. i liked that last post. and i am trying to figure out exactly what i want to say. because what i say now may be referred to in the future and other people could eventually read this. so. Abby i want you to "set me up" or whatever. why? because i'm too afraid to do it myself. and because if abby thinks it could work then there is a good possibility something could work out. but even beyond that. if it doesn't work out at. i wouldn't be mad or upset at abby. i need to have things not work out or a "broken heart" because i have no experience. well i don't have any experience having my heart together...or whatever the opposite of a broken heart is. so that might be nice too. but i am getting way too ahead of myself. so i need to step back. and that is what i am going to do. i may not mention or say anything but i am paying attention. i will notice every time he is in the same area of me. and yes that is because of you abby. but hey there has to be some reason doesn't there?

i am not sure if that paragraph was a good thing to write or if i should of just went to sleep when i got home. but i am sort of on the edge of my seat. not literally i'm actually slouching with my back on the back of the chair and my butt firmly in the middle of the chair. anyways. it's the "if" and "what" and "maybe" and "when" that is killing me. that is why i want them to come so i could just see how it went the first time. just have something. the seed was planted in my head and it freaking grew.

but at the same time it's not that big of a deal. it just seems like it now because i'm talking about it. i would be perfectly fine if i never talked to josh again in my life. that's the truth. really. but i could be better than perfectly fine if i did talk to him. "could be". i don't know.

i want to get all my "what ifs" out. and since i'm already awake and on the topic why not. then i won't ever have to visit this topic again until something does happen. what if i find out i really like him? what if i find out i really don't like him? what if i find out he likes me and i don't like him? what if i find out i like him but he doesn't like me? what if i never find out? what if we go roller skating together and it is absolutely amazing? what if he read this blog? what would happen if abby copy and pasted this post and gave it to him tomorrow because she believed that it would be the best thing to do (even though it absolutely wouldn't because that would just create awkward situations because you need to establish a relationship offline and with spoken words before you can elaborate on that relationship through the written words, right? right)? what if nothing ever happens and i am sounding like an idiot right now talking about all this? what if in the future i wish i had never written this post? what if i'm so tired that i am letting my tired brain get the best of me? what if i'm not thinking of him as real person and i'm just thinking about him as an idea and i'm being stupid?

i can answer that last question.

this would write this post and post it at 10:36pm. in other words that is what happened.

in conclusion: ignore this post.