one of those moods.

i wish i knew who you are. i wish i could just know everyone. and be friends will all those people i would like to be friends with. you know? and i wish everyone knew who i am. like they look at me and they see who i really am not just what they think i am like. that's just molly the smart quiet girl. okay so i'm smart and i can be quiet, do you care enough to find out who i am beyond that? because that's a very small part of me.

it's frustrating.

i want to have a part. my father bought some surround sound so it would be pretty awesome with the music. maybe i could have a new years party. that would be awesome right? but don't people have other plans for new years? maybe it could be a day before new years party. ha. i like that idea. oo. December 31st is on a Friday this year so if i had a day-before new year's party it would have to be on a Thursday. or i could do it on January 1st. or i could do it earlier and have a holiday like party. i'm not sure how that would work though.

who would i invite? Abby, (hi Abby), and probably Colin which would bring about Josh and Nicole. I always wanted to be better friends with them but that has never worked out. i had fun bowling with them that night when i was so exhausted. Dana and Bella. I could tell Dana that she could bring along Claire or someone if she wanted. I could invited Lydnsey too but i don't know if she would come. I could invite Danny and tell him to bring along his girlfriend or a friend of his. If i actually talked to Adam I could invite him and tell him to bring someone. but that still isn't a lot of people. That's only...10ish people. Not a lot. Who else? I don't have that many friends. Do i need a lot of people? Nah. i would introduce all of them and it wouldn't be awkward at all because i wouldn't let it be.

i would just have to figure out how to get rid of my family. i think my parents are going to have a tv in their room.

oh i could invite Mollie Clayton or Becca. and Jayna. I could invite Williston kids like Chelsea, Alyssa, and Abby Szat but if i invited Abby S it might get kind of crazy and i could see Chelsea and Alyssa feeling even more awkward since i barley talk to them anyways. but hey in a few months. i could collab with Maeve and invite some of her friends but i would rather not. but hm.

scary. someone just rang the doorbell and my dad answered the door and there was no one there so he just went outside and he came back to let finn out, probably to find whoever it was but she wouldn't go out. and then he just went back out. and he wasn't in a good mood. i'm scared. why did he go out there? why couldn't he have just left them and left us safe inside with all the doors locked.

so freaked out. i was going to go up to bed but now i am going to stay down here because i am the only other one down here. now i think i am going to go upstairs with the rest of my family. good night. i'm really nervous and scared and worried. and ah.