it's weird knowing that other people are talking about you.

and it's weird not really knowing how you feel.

it's not like a want a relationship. i'm not looking for one. but i'm keeping my eyes open. i guess i really should be keeping my heart open but i don't think that is really happening.

so i'm not upset at all. or frustrated. or anything really. i'm like whatever. because all that has taken place tonight is a bunch of words were exchanged via little pixels on some sort of electronic device. sure feelings were shared but feelings change all the time. i'm not hoping they change but they do. and i think that face-to-face encounters speak louder than all this jazz.

but at the same time i am not sitting at the edge of my sitting saying "oh my goodness! he doesn't like me. he doesn't want a relationship. ah! my life is over! this is horrible! and he knows i like him! and he doesn't like me! this is awful! this is the worst ever!" no way is that me. not at all. i am probably pretty much the opposite. i couldn't care much less. yeah he has a good guess that i like him and while that does change how you think about people i don't think it is that big of a deal. it could be a good thing cause look at this: the only reason why this happened is because i found out there was a good chance that he could possibly like me. so there you go.

i'm trying to think if there is anything else i should say to make sure you understand where i'm at. and i don't want to get you tangled in all of this. but too late for that eh?

in summary i'll give you bullet points.
- i am not going to be up all night thinking about this. i will probably fall asleep the second i lie in my bed and sleep through the whole night.
- tomorrow i won't be thinking about this all day. i'll have more important things to worry about. BUT still text me please please please.
- i am not too worried all around really. like if something good happens then that's good. if nothing happens then whatever i'm not worse off than i was before.
- i don't like the word "like". it's more of a "possibly interested but we have never talked before i so really have no idea".
hahaha what if you sent that in a text. "You're asking because you know someone who is possibly interested but we have never talked before so she really has no idea." "You must know of someone who is possibly interested in you but you guys have never talked so she doesn't really have any idea." That would be a good conversation.
- Friends first people.
- Whatever yo.
- In the words of Seventeen magazine: "If something is meant to be with a guy, it will happen - you shouldn't have to work too hard."
- If I was to make a prediction about what is going to happen here my guess is that after one or two awkward meetings this will all slip away and make a wonderful story. but hey we won't know what will happen until we try, right?

crap. i still haven't cleaned my boots yet.