i miss the feeling when you are first falling for someone. when you get all excited when you see them and you get the butterflies. and you want to wear your best outfits so you look your best. and you just want to talk to them. and you really really want them to like you back. and you second guess everything they do and everything you do too. you analyze their behavior. and you are just giddy and happy and excited all the time. i miss that.

but i have a lot to talk about now don't i? or i did, but i sort of forget a lot of it. like how i am disappointed that we lost our adsense account so now we don't make any money from our youtube videos. we only had it for a few weeks if that, we made a grand total of $11 i believe, yet they still took it away because of invalid ad clicks. we have no idea who clicked our ads too many times, we didn't tell anyone to. i think Maura might have, but she just wanted to give us more money, because it is exciting to see us getting money! so i feel bad for her, she must have a lot of guilt if she thinks she caused it. i don't know if she actually does or not. but it is disappointing, because it gave us an incentive to keep making videos and it was like we got some kind of response. we don't have a lot of people commenting or people wanting us to make videos like previous youtube stars had to encourage them to keep going. so the money was our encouragement. Maeve hasn't made a video since. I had been working on one, and I've done a little bit on it, but i haven't finished it yet...so it is sad.

what else. i feel like i had a more uplifting subject to talk about, but i can't remember now. shucks.

okay so while i was trying to think of things to say i went on tumblr and i saw that someone had asked Vondell Swain what he thought of the Mike Lombardo thing to which he simply said, he shouldn't have done that. so of course i have to go find out what they are talking about...and Mike Lombardo was caught receiving and asking for child pornography from girls as young as 14. and it wasn't just one girl, but multiple. he had videos on his phone. and i just found someone on tumblr who said she was a victim of his when she was 18, and she's 21 now...how long has he done this?
i've just read a bunch of people's reactions that i'm not even sure what i think.
goodness. i loved his songs. especially Hey Molly...now i'm afraid it's going to come on shuffle. i sort of want to go watch his videos now, but i don't dare. i don't want to see the comments. i've read so much about it already. i'm just sort of shocked. i'm sure i mentioned him in previous posts.

but isn't that what makes this blog amazing? it's like a little account of history from one girl's point of view. it has gaps and it's not entirely accurate. i just tell you what i know and think about and what i find important.

like how it's pretty awesome that Gabby Douglas won the women's overall gymnastics at the olympics, and how i am very sad that Aly Raisman tied for third but didn't end up getting it because of some weird dropping the lowest score.

so i think i am going to keep this blog going. as long as i can. and by the way i'm sick of people asking when i'm going to college. i'll go when i go.

OHHH I remember what i was supposed to talk about. Nicole! ahh but it's late now and i was going to go to sleep plus i don't want that in the same post as all of the yucky stuff...

i just had the thought, when i was looking for an old post mentioning Mike Lombardo, what if instead of Mike Lombardo it was Taylor Mathews. i would be so so so devastated. i look up to him so much. he's amazing. and if i found out he wasn't who i thought he was? horrible. that must be how some girls are feeling now about Mike Lombardo.

November 1st 2010 was when i first listened to his music and watched his videos. wow. just wow.

but let's end this on a happy note. i saw that my last post was about how i might watch the olympics this year...oh i've been watching them. <3 -thumbs="-thumbs" expert="expert" house.="house." i="i" in="in" live="live" m="m" olympic="olympic" p="p" stream.="stream." the="the" up-="up-">
and hi! i just want to say hi to my readers, i haven't forgotten about you. so now you should say hi to me! it's only polite...(: