i'm so so lucky.

i don't know how i got so lucky. like it baffles my mind how lucky i am. and i am so grateful and appreciative and oh my goodness i don't understand how come i'm so lucky. i wish i could give my luck away to people. just give the good parts of my life away to people who really need it, just to make their life a little bit better. but i can't really, i can't change my luck, so i'm stuck with all of it. not complaining. not complaining at all.

just looking at my life everything is so right. and even if everything came crashing down right now, i would still be so lucky. i'm smart and it comes naturally to me. i have never gotten below an 80 on a report card (that could be changing soon, who knows). and i think that's a combination of luck and hard work. yes, i do work hard for those grades. i put a lot of effort into school, but i know that it comes more naturally to me than it does to others, which is why i'm lucky. i'm lucky i got that scholarship. i got it because of my leadership stuff in 4H, and i do work there, i worked to become president after years of not being elected as president. i kept getting back up. but i'm still lucky i won that. i'm even more lucky that my parents have enough money to send me to college wherever i want, and they'll let me go wherever i want, even if i have a scholarship somewhere else. my parents. oh my goodness, i am so lucky i have my parents and they are who they are. they are the most understanding, hardworking, amazing parents. my mom left my boyfriend and me home alone today. she completely trusts me. of course, we didn't tell my dad. i don't think my dad even knows that Josh was over and i'm not going to be the first one to tell him. but my parents let me do whatever i want really. they trust me. they know that i'll tell them what i'm doing and i'll do what i say and i won't be stupid. i'm lucky i'm not stupid, meaning i'm lucky i was born with common sense. i'm lucky i was born in the United States. i'm lucky i have all these privileges and rights and a roof over my head and food to heat. i'm lucky to have the amazing boyfriend i have. i'm just so lucky.

so so so so so lucky. i just...i'm just so lucky.