this probably isn't the right mood to be writing a blog in but I am. I am soooo frustrated. I can't even play a game of Mario Kart with my sisters without them bitching at each other. just SHUT UP! it is so infuriating! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. They can't talk nice to each other - instead they just scream and bitch. I kind of wish we did have school today that way I wouldn't have to deal with them.

Okay. now I need to calm myself down. I need to go to the bathroom but I don't feel like getting up and walking the 10 or less steps into the bathroom. Now I want to see how many steps it does take to get there...so I guess i'll be back. 

it only took 6 steps. then four steps to the stairs, so i could go up there and get my headphones so i could listen to my lovely itunes to calm myself. both the kitties were sleeping my room. i like seeing them sleeping in there.

so about that last post - Bella is still pretty much a bitch. she doesn't deserve to be president. not that i want to though. so yeah. i would love to quit 4H but I still like to do all the activities and the horse shows so if we joined another group that would give us a very bad reputation and yeah...but you know Bella probably could be a photographer - it doesn't take much thinking or good grades.

so i'm an office aid. which basically means i have to sign all the passes, answer the phone, deliver things, let people in, and such. there is a tenth grader working with me. she is nice. yeah. it is a new experience. i am still getting use to it. i get community service for it and I am there for about an hour everyday so i just have to be there for 30 days and i am all set for graduation. my dad thinks that the reason i am doing it is because of my great grades or something. it is just because the secretary, Ms. Clark, is related to Lisa and Erin and Lisa said something so yeah. word of mouth. but i like it even though i miss out on the conversations in the morning since i am in there for homeroom too. some of my friends are upset that they don't get to see me in the morning since i never get to see them during the day. but they will get over it because i think being an office aid is more important.

i have to make dinner tonight. wednesday. first time. really i don't think i have to if i don't want to but i probably should. mother does sooooooo much for us and she is at the barn with Maeve on Wednesday afternoons so yeah, i could make dinner...we will see how that goes. i think i am just going to have to put something in the oven...

i don't like being a teenager. at all. i can't wait until i am done with high school, done with these stupid teenage years. it's just gah. plus teenagers have a big reputation so even though i haven't done anything they are expecting me to any second. but think about it. i am growing up and going through those lovely awkward stages. i have school. homework. i have to deal with the social part of school. i have to deal with my family. i have to deal with riding and all that stress. i have these things called hormones. i am trying to figure things out. yeah, i don't have a lot going for me, just a lot against me.

it's 2:17. i would be out of school if it wasn't a snow day.

i still have homework even though it is a snow day. it is due on Thursday. i started it. it isn't done yet...blah.

today hasn't been a great day. it was just asdfjkl;asdfjkl; i don't know how to explain it. pretty much everyone's mood hasn't been great and i think it would have been better if we did have school. we needed the extra sleep though. well i just have to make it through a few more days. then a few more. then a month. a year. another year. the rest of my life.