"i got your runaway smile in my piggy bank, baby. gonna cash it right in for a new mercedes. you were worth the hundred thousand miles. but you couldn't stay awhile."

life. that is such a complicated subject. i doubt that i am even going to start to cover it because the reality is i'm only 14 and i don't really get it yet no matter how much i think i do. you grow so much in so few years. so much to figure out. 

"yeah, i'm the first to fall and the last to know. where'd you go? now i'm heels over head, i'm hangin' upside down thinkin' how you left me for the deal, California bound."

my sisters are so strange. they were just playing around having a great time and now they can't go near each other. i'm use to it. it's easier if you just leave them alone, they will get over it with the hour. they can't get away from each other forever. they are sisters. we are family. maeve is singing in the bathroom now and maura just came downstairs and is probably going to go right back to what they were doing before.

"when you look me in the eyes and tell me that you love me every thing's alright, when you are right here by my side."

sometimes i try to think what it will be like when i am done with high school. done with college. what will life be like. i imagine my family getting together. my children. my sisters' children. it is all too strange. really i just need to get through the next day.

"i'm 5 years old, it's getting cold. i've got my big coat on. i hear your laugh and look up smiling at you. i run and run past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides. look now, the sky is gold. i hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home."

i have been in a strange mood lately. i don't know if a snowday today was just a good idea. i have to do a science powerpoint. i have put it off as long as possible. i don't know if that is what is making me like this. now thinking about this is making me not feel great. i want to get it over with. today is going to be long.

"when i was younger i use to be wild. as wild as an elephant's child. no one could hold me down. no one could keep me around. now it's your turn, take a shot. baby show me everything that you go. maybe you can keep me alive. maybe you can get in my mind. but it's only a matter of time."

i need a lighter subject. how about our cats. we haven't had the two of them for long but they are wonderful and already seem like part of the family. we got Seamus first, the little black and white kitten. when we were at the shelter my mother wanted Seamus's mother but it was Maeve's cat and she wanted the kitten. he fit right in. when we went back to the shelter to drop off some stuff from our 4H group, the mother was still there. my mother took her. of course. but this was my mom's cat. she named her Lily. now both of them are part of the family.

"before i run away i need to take a holiday. maybe it's a fall from grace. i gotta find a new place. a holiday."

i don't think Lily ever played before. she is so young, only about a year and she already had kittens. she didn't have a life before she came with us. she isn't sure what she is suppose to do when we swing a piece of string back and forth when Seamus is attacking it. but for a cat that didn't have any human contact before she is extremely friendly. Seamus was born in a foster home so he had human contact ever since the beginning and he is a kitten. they are both amazing though.

"all the wasted time. the hours that were left behind. the answers that we'll never find. they don't mean a thing tonight."

heels over head - boys like girls. when you look me in the eyes - jonas brothers. the best day- taylor swift. holiday - boys like girls.