you're hot and you're cold.

sometimes i enjoy spending time with Bella. sometimes i don't.

apparently Bella invited herself to go to the play with Maeve. it was my idea for Maeve and I to go to the play tonight in the first place. but Bella invited herself along.

alright.

then we sit where she wants to sit because she doesn't like sitting up close to the stage. i enjoy sitting close so i can clearly see the expression on all of the actors faces. i couldn't do that where we were sitting but we do what bella wants to do.

the rest of the play was fine. during break her and Maeve ran down to a water fountain but that wasn't a big deal. but then after the play we were over waiting for my mom to pick us up. Jayna came over and gave me a hug. and then Maeve, Bella, and Maura ran up to Maeve's locker. so i was talking to Jayna and Mollie. then Abby comes over. then Abby leaves. then Mollie leaves. then Jayna leaves. i'm standing there by myself. and everyone is around me talking to their friends and hanging out. i'm standing there awkwardly. i call Maeve and tell her to get back down here. so i wait. and i wait. and finally they come down and Bella's all like "she's not even here yet why did we have to come down". and that sort of stuff just annoys me so much because all she is thinking about is herself. she doesn't think about me and how i have to stand there awkwardly by myself. it's like what the heck? so then i was annoyed at her for the rest of the ride home. but i'll see her tomorrow at the riding lesson and then i think i am going over her house on sunday. i hope someone will be home to rescue me from her because i can't stand being around her and her mom for too long.

oh and her status was "play w/ maevey in a few..." oh okay bella. glad you appreciate me.

but whatever. i really don't care about bella but it just annoys me. it annoys me more than it should because it's so miniscule.

new subject. i started a new story for NaNo. i couldn't get past 3,605 words out of the 50,000 that i need. maybe it is because i was trying to compare the beginning part too much to Abby's life. so i am starting new. and now i have 2,074 words and i've only worked on it today. so i think i'll be alright if i try to catch up by the end of this weekend. but i don't have any history homework.

and Abby don't worry. this is just a bump in the road in the big scheme of things. right now it seems like a big deal. but don't worry. you'll be fine. i know it. because you are so strong and amazing.

i'm really tired. and i tried beatboxing today but it didn't go that well. i might try again tomorrow. now i think i am going to maybe watch my subscriptions on youtube and maybe write some more of my story if i'm feeling it and then go to bed. and tomorrow i have a riding lesson. and then i want to do absolutely nothing.

and i am proud of myself. i brought home my first pot from ceramics today. and i like it very much. of course everything else i've made has been a lot better. but it is still beautiful. and i am proud that i was able to make something all on my own. i have this object that i made. and it will be around for a long time. and it's different than just painting pottery because i was the one who sculpted the clay and put it together. and then i glazed it. and i saw it go through all the processes. so my recommendation to you: take ceramics class. no matter how much you think you don't need to take it or no matter how much you think you suck at pottery stuff. take it. it is worth it just to have that piece of your own.