okay so you know how i am going to Ireland so now i wont have time to go to babson to see Ellie and Amelie and all of them. so i told Ellie. and now she wants to see me. we get in a 11pm on the 27th and i leave at 6am on the 30th. she said i am worth driving 3 plus hours just to have lunch with me. and i was annoyed. maybe because i don't really miss her yet. i already had my Ellie fill two weeks ago. and plus my two days i'm home i don't think that i want to spend it with her. i am going to be stressed out packing and i'm going to be so jet lagged. like packing is actually a concern because i barely have time before i leave for ireland to pack for ireland let alone china.

and i realized that i am doing the same thing to ellie that i did to josh. push them away. she is all like i'll drive that far to see you. and i'm all like, no i'm not worth it, i don't even want to see you that badly. and it is basically the exact same thing i would say to josh when he wanted to come see me. so wow. not sure what that says about me and relationships and friendships and everything.

but i think i came up with an idea. since i am staying over auntie lorrie's the night before i leave, i might be able to stop by babson and see them. but it's a long shot since it depends on what time i head up to boston and if i'm awake since i'll be jetlagged and if i'm packed and it's crazy but we will see what happens. in a little over a month. woooo.