i feel sick. i'm a horrible person. i left joy to sleep in her car last night. and it's my fault. god. i feel horrible right now.

it was 10:30 and i was exhausted and wanted to sleep but summer wasn't texting me back and then kristian was here so i went and talked to her and basically talking to her convinced me not to have her stay. and then i basically broke down because of all of this and all the stuff that is going on at home and stuff. and she was just like you need to sleep, don't take on all of her stuff, you don't need to bring her into the house. and just now i feel like shit and don't know what to do. she still need a place to stay for like 3 more days and she texted me all this stuff like how it really hurt our friendship.

okay now let me get mad at her. we are barely even friends. she through this all on me. and stressed me out so much. i have other shit going on.

it's hard for me to be mad. i don't know what to do. this was horrible. i should have just let her come over because even then if i had to deal with that and that was messy at least i wouldn't feel like a bad person...i kind of want to talk to Maeve or someone but i really have no one. Maeve's probably still asleep. it's 7:13am in the morning and i'm up so early because i am meeting another intern for coffee at 8 but at least this woke me up, no way i could fall back asleep.