I just talked to Maeve and i feel so much better about everything. she saw things from the side of Joy wasn't being a very good friend and was being manipulative and that it was fine that i didn't invite her over. when i talked to Maeve i had already left Joy a message and told her she could stay if she wanted to. but if i had talked to Maeve first i probably wouldn't have. i haven't heard back from Joy but i am hoping she won't want to come. but i forgot how good it is to just talk to someone, it was awesome talking to Maeve. i should really call and talk to her about what is going on in my life more. usually i only talk to her when she wants to call to talk about all the shit she is going through. which i will do whenever and it is important but it is also nice to just talk about what is going on in my life and figure that out as well. because i realized other than Maeve i don't really have a close friend that i can call and talk to. i don't want to unload all of this on Ellie or Amelie because i have barely talked to them anyways. i really should text them just to see how they are doing and all. but i don't feel like i can just talk to them about all the shit in my life because then i am complaining and i don't want them to have to carry that or worry about me.

but basically i should have called maeve yesterday. i feel so much better after talking to her. i am going to stick to my guns and just go with it. we will see what happens. but it is good to have the reminder that i will always have her to rely on.

now i have to figure out if i clear my plates or if i can just leave them...coffee shop problems.