wooohooo. not.

i'm in a bad mood once again. i just woke up and came downstairs to my maeve doing maura's hair in the bathroom and the two of them singing. that made me upset. not going to explain why because they i would have to be all like blah, blah, blah. i am also sort of upset because i don't want to have my riding lesson but i have to and i would NEVER complain about riding or anything to anyone in my family because that is sort of an unspoken rule. i have a horse now and i have to show that i love him and i can't complain. and another thing that sort of made me upset is i went on facebook this morning and almost every single status had something to do with who they were going to see this weekend and how they were going to have so much fun with their friends. it's like this almost every single weekend. i haven't gone out or seen any of my friends out of school. instead i'm stuck at home every single weekend with my family. or at least i would be if i didn't have my horses. i see my computer screen much more than i see my friends. if you add up all the hours i am sure that would be true. actually i only have one friend that i would even want to see after school. no big friend sleepovers for me. nope. no pictures posted up on facebook of my exciting weekends except for a few from horse shows just to show that i do have a life and somewhere that i belong. so yeah. i think i'm done. stop writing when you are done. hm. but what should i do now instead? go onto facebook and feel bad for myself again. read a book? no, i already did that all this morning. homework? that would be the ideal choice seeing as my dad wants to take away the one time where i escape this freaking house. does he realize that wednesday and thursday i didn't do any homework. not that any was due the next day. i don't have the guts to not do my homework on purpose. not after Mr. Butler called me out in class when i didn't have my homework and i almost started to cry. i'm pretty sure since that day i have always had my homework. but thinking about that has just made me feel worse. and now the fact that i shouldn't be upset because i am so blessed and all and i should be grateful just came in my head. so in other words i'm an awful person for being upset like this, i should be happy all the time because just look at what i have to be happy about. a whole lot more than most people do. so i'll just sulk around all day and then go do my horse stuff. and you know the worse part is that i do have horse stuff that i do almost every day but it's not like i'm blowing anything off or have to tell my friend i can't come with them to their big shopping trip. i don't have anything better to do. nah. that isn't the worst part. i'm sure you can find something worse than that in this wonderful rant.