or not. i could tell you all about the horse show but i don't want to. i'll tell you that it was extremely scary when the horse trailer fell off of the car. i was scared that one of the horses were hurt. i was extremely scared. i held myself together but once we were in the car again on our way to the show i started crying. it was scary.
instead i'll return to an old topic. how every day i am getting closer and closer to hitting Katelyn over the head with a book. does she realize that i don't feel like talking to her first thing in the morning? but i don't know who else to talk to. does she realize she doesn't have to jump out of nowhere the second she sees me in the morning? i will survive if she doesn't come and talk to me. and during gym don't tell me how i cheated during a team building activity. does it really freaking matter? the rest of my class is competitive enough already i don't need you giving me some crap about how my knees touched the ground. you already have a better grade than me in that class even though I participate a whole lot more than you but you have Mr. Scammons who is an easier grader than Mr. Vega. the whole point of having friends in your class is so they can support you through the horrors of it not piss you off.
and shut the heck up about pictures. i don't care that you don't like your picture. you don't have to go on and on about how you hate them and then ask a billion times to see mine when i already put them in my locker. and no i didn't look at them. unlike most of the student population i don't care what my school picture looks like. move on with your life. it's a stupid picture. that was all i heard all day, how people hate their school pictures. enough is enough.
what i hate the most is how much hate i am feeling towards people and such lately. it's just putting me in a bad mood and keeping me in a bad mood. how can i change this? the easier way the way i would prefer the most is to cut Katelyn out of my life and pick up a new friend who will make me feel better than worse. the other way that i would rather not try is to be positive anyways even when Katelyn is annoying me. i'm a teenager i don't have that much control over my emotions.
another problem with the whole Katelyn situation is that I still use her too. i know it sounds kind of weird when i put it like that. but in english i asked to see what she got for an answer. but the only reason i do this is because i have no one else. the transition of dropping her would be so much easier if i had another friend first. but i don't.
now i'm not sure if this is screaming in you head as much as it is screaming in mine: SAWYER. hahahaha. time to laugh at you and at me for even thinking that. you have probably realized that i haven't talked about him lately. which is good for me. i think. i'm not really sure if it is even good for me to be talking about people in this blog. in this burn book. in my own burn book. but anyways a few reasons for all of that or whatever which i have mostly already listed in previous blogs so i won't list them now just sort of mention. i have no idea what to ever say, and conversations turn out awkward, he has devin/heather, and i just don't know what to do i guess. but that sort of applies to all possible friends of mine. it's highschool, everyone already has their friends and aren't looking for new ones. so here am i the only girl looking for a friend yet no one knows not that i really what them to know that. but who is them? so that paragraph probably didn't make any sense at all.
you know those middle school crushes where every girl has a crush on the same guy mostly because he is goodlooking? yeah those don't go away, we just don't call them crushes now. i believe the proper term would be lust or physical attraction? it sort of sucks. i wish that who everyone is was displayed like a book on their outside instead of being hidden inside. so why am i talking about this? cause you know that this blog always comes back to me. because there are some hot guys in our class. i am tempted to start talking about the one guy in particular but i'm not gonna because well i'm not sure why but i'm not going to. i'm going to try to talk about something else.
ohhh. i have something to add to the list against Katelyn. today she said that she had a bad feeling. like a plane was going to crash and people were going to die. like a plane on it's way to Japan. after she said that i said, my parents are going on a plane today. OH MY FREAKING GOD. the last thing i want to hear today is that there is going to be a plane crash. i am already freaked out about my parents being away for a day and a half. the last thing i need is someone to put into my head that they have a feeling there is going to be a plane crash. they haven't left yet but i'm still freaked out. freaked out. i know i shouldn't be but i am.
now what to talk about. i'm not sure. maybe that means i should stop writing. i just had an idea of something to write about. my parents and family life now but i am not going to just in case. okay i'm out.
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