i went to my first 4h meeting in a while. i am pretty certain i'm not going back. i don't think i feel like reliving it because i'll probably cry again. yep, i almost cried during 4h but i managed to hold myself together. i bet a bunch of people thought i was crying or was going to - oh wow they were right! sure i'm having my period now so i'm oversensitive or more moody or whatever but i don't think that should be an excuse. i shouldn't almost cry during 4h then silently cry on the way home. i shouldn't want to leave 4h early and then do. i shouldn't tell my mother that i'm ready to leave then get my sister to but i did.
stop. it wasn't as bad as you think. it just sucked. and it was like it has always been. there has been no change in that group from when we first joined. so i think that i might have been my last 4h meeting. we'll see. no we won't wait and see. that is all i do - wait and see what happens. i'm sick of it. i'm going to do whatever i want to do when i want to do it. i'm not going to wait around. i'm not going to wait around for you to change and give you a second chance. i'm not going to wait for anything or anyone. so hahahahahaha to you.
if you can't tell i'm in a sort of bad mood. i'm untouchable. to quote from taylor's swift new song, untouchable. that is what i am though. untouchable.
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