i'm being a bad girlfriend again. i don't want to go to the movies tonight. i just drove four hours and the last thing i want to do is to be in a car or staring at a movie screen. i want to sleep. but i'm going to go because if i don't i'll be a bitch but while i'm there i'm going to be bitchy because i'm going to be in a bad mood.

all i want to do is talk about r5 and taylor mathews but stupid relationship stuff is putting me in a bad mood.

another reason why i was a bad girlfriend. i found the perfect christmas gift for josh today, a really nice notebook like the one we used to write back and forth, but i didn't get it because i never wrote in the one we have now and i didn't bring it home from school and if i did get the new one, i wouldn't know what to write in it.

i'm scared. and i feel bad. and tired.

and Abby didn't text me back today, i'm feeling really alone and like i have no friends. just my sisters, thank god for my sisters. now i need to stop before i start crying.