so today took an unexpected turn - actually not all that unexpected.

I went and found the pony hedge, which I loved. then when I came back to the dorm, Amelie wasn't there, and ellie was in her room. and I could hear her either getting on or off or moving on her bed. so I waited a minute and then just went into my room. and then ellie came out later and was in the common area. and then Amelie came back and now Amelie is on the phone.

I know ellie is now waiting for me to come out, because she heard I didn't use the bathroom before. but I don't want to talk to her or have to act all nice and happy and try to reassure her that I don't hate her. so I think I am just going to stay in here and try to fall asleep while I still have to pee. so cool. maybe it would make my life easier to just go and talk now and be nice and social, like what is expected of me, but I don't want to. just counting down the days until I can leave here please.