i am having a panic attack right now. my chest is tight i am breathing heavy. i feel so much pressure and expectation and i can't deal. now i am crying. and i just want to scream. and i want to run away and just get away from all of this. i don't want to do anything

chest tightening, breath quicken.
i need to run. i need to get away.
all the pressure,
expectations,
encircles me and starts
constricting, grabbing
me and yelling at me
surrounding me, tightens
and demands. i can't
calm down. i need to
get away. screaming,
crying, trying to push
this pressure away.
get off of me.
please leave me alone.

the boa constrictor usually stays
to himself. i can see him, patiently
waiting. he never leaves, always
there.

when i'm not looking, or even
when i am. he slithers closer
and start moving up my leg,
wrapping himself in
circles.

he moves up past my hip
and begins to encircle my
chest, tightening. he tightens.
constricts and controls me.
calm down, i can't
breath.

he keeps grabbing, demanding
me. he always wants more,
never enough. more
pressure.

then he leaves, and i relax.
breathing not quiet
the same, but better.
i see him still,
waiting.