I should clean my room right now but i'm appreciating just vegging out and doing nothing for me.

updates...I've been emailing a bunch of people about summer but i'm no closer...everyone just says "i'll keep my ears open..." okay thanks but that doesn't help me. and then ellie is asking me about where I will live if I stay here and work at Spotify over the summer. I love Spotify but that isn't what I want to do forever so it would be amazing if I could tour. I really want to see the us and travel and just get moving.

I went to a study abroad returnee conference this weekend and while I didn't learn that much I didn't know already, it made me kind of regret not studying abroad again next fall. like I let Amelie talk me out of it. but then I have to remind myself that it is for the best. but then another part of my head says "excuses" so I don't know. but at this point I have to stick with what I chose I guess. kind of bummed. but I just have to save up enough money so I can go travel on my own. but I met someone from babson who studied abroad her whole junior year and half of senior year and she doesn't regret it for a second. gaaah. need to stop thinking about it and focus on a good. maybe there is a reason that I need to be here next semester and I just don't know it yet.

just wanted to tell you that there is an attractive man in my cultural anthropology class named Gene. that's all. I haven't talked to him or anything and i'm not planning on it because I don't know anything about him. but he's attractive. so let the record show that.

I had dinner with my dad and we basically talked about nothing, or I just talked a lot to avoid any awkward subjects. my sister is still not talking to him. so there's that.

I have been avoiding Michele and I think he has got the hint that i'm not interested but of course he was at the same restaurant I was at with my dad, which is a buffet, so he had to say hi when I was up getting my dessert...but since then I haven't run into him.

I went out with Amelie last night and I didn't drink, and it was okay. like it was kind of nice to meet new people but they are all so drunk that they probably won't remember anyways. so it was okay but not great. so I think I will stick to my plan of going out occasionally but not often. I like staying in with my friends and Netflix. Parks and Rec is my show of choice of as of recently. so that's fun.

I was thinking the other day how there are probably so many people on campus that I could be friends with. but I never will be. because we will never talk to each other or have the chance to. I mean I could go around and just talk to everyone but that isn't my style. and it is awkward. I'm happy with the friends that I have. but it's still kind of sad to think of all the friendships that could exist but don't...I think there was something else to this when I first thought of it but I can't think of it now. maybe i'll come back to it another time.

so two weeks until spring break. lots of midterms and projects. and I am trying not to get burnt out. still babysitting a bunch and then my internship and then hanging out all the time with Amelie and ellie and that's pretty much it. i'm happy. but i'll also be ready for something more.

I should probably clean my room now. or do laundry.