hi so last night might have been my last night in this house. the official moving to the new/old house starts tomorrow. I think they might stay in this house for another month but I might not be back before then. which is really sad. and strange. like 109 is still home in a weird way since I remember living there before and growing up there so it is going to be strange to be back there. but I think it will also feel distant. like I will be coming home to a former home...not my current home. especially since I won't have a room. i'm going to be recuperating from getting my wisdom teeth pulled in there. so I guess I mean I will make new memories there but it will be strange. I guess it is another push to help me figure out my life even though i'm already working on that. but I know there will always be a place for me back home.

ahh I don't know how to put my feelings into words. like I kind of feel like crying but at the same time I am already distancing myself emotionally. I don't know how I feel that my family is moving back to my old house but it feels like there isn't room for me there. okay now i'm sort of crying. I have just been trying not to think about it. but now that I am getting ready to head back to school after spring break it is actually hitting me.

okay now is when I push back all my feelings again. it will be fine. not a big deal. I am barely home anyways. I am going to go back to school soon and focus on everything going on there: class, projects, Spotify internship, babysitting, figuring out my summer life.

ahh can't handle life. I should probably leave now so I don't have to be driving in the dark. or I can wait another hour for maeve to get home because I didn't really say bye to her before but i'll see her in a few weeks. two weekends and then the third we are going to a concert. then the weekend afterwards i'll be in st. Louis with my mom which will be crazy too. then after that two weekends and i'm done with junior year! woot woot!

okay I guess that is all I am going to write about now. maybe i'll drive back to school now...