okay so today was a bit of a crazy day. last night i was thinking i would text Zach see if he was around, most likely go to the CMA fest by myself, and then afterwards go to the barn (did I tell you a bit a girl who rides and i might work at the horse camp there for the summer!) and check that out. but then this morning i saw on twitter that Zach is away for a show so no go there but that's fine, i was expecting it. so i went to the CMA fest myself. i parked fine and found the show. the problems though were that it was really hot and i only had breakfast. it was like 11:45 by the time i made it down to the venue. i should have grabbed lunch before i went down to the stage, but i did not. the stage was in front of a huge hill with grass and such, but i went down to the front. and i stayed there and watched a whole act. and literally right before Dan and Shay (who i was there to see) went on, i felt like i was about the pass out. you know what i do and i knew it was coming. and it sucked because i had made it to like the 2nd/3rd row and had a perfect view. but i knew i had to go sit down. so i went and sat down and was hoping i would just feel better. but nope, the vision went and it got worse. so i said to the girl sitting next to me "i'm really sorry, but could you get a security guard, i feel like i'm going to pass out" i saw her tell her mom and i didn't really see much after that but basically everyone around me freaked out. and i could hear them saying stuff like, she is really pale and doesn't look good. someone let me lean back on their legs. someone gave me water and a wet rag around my neck. and someone put a mint in a mouth to give me sugar. i got asked a lot of questions, like if i had diabetes and if i had drank anything or eaten anything. and i got yelled at because it looked like i was going...like passed out so they woke me up. and then after that i threw up a bit...not a lot since i hadn't eaten anything. and i felt bad for everyone. but after that i felt a lot better. then i went to get a tissue out of my bag and a lady started yelling at me saying don't worry about your purse and tried to hand it to a person behind me like i was with them...and i was like no, i'm by myself and i have a tissue in there. so she gave it back and i was able to clean myself up a bit. and then once i was feeling a lot better, the security guard finally came over following some girl. and i got up and started to follow him and i realized i still had the rag so i was able to stop and give it back. then i went and sat with the security guard and they gave me cold water and then the medics finally ran over after i was completely fine. that's what happens. i need sugar, water, and to throw up and then i feel fine. but then i went with the medics anyways to a tent on the other side of the stage. so we walked right in front of the stage past them and i was like "nooo...i just want to watch and sing along and dance and go back to where i was...." well i thought that but i went and sat in the first aide tent with the fan and mister in my face. and i sat there and drank like 2 whole bottles of water. and they offered me some like spicy pizza flavored chips and i was like no thanks...then another lady offered me her peanut butter crackers which i would have eaten but i felt bad taking her food, so i said no thank you. so i stayed in the tent and listened to dan and shay until they were done. and then i got up and left. oh i forgot one lady when she realized i was alone wanted to come to the medic tent with me, i was like i'm fine, thank you. i really liked one of the medic ladies because she was like "you came yourself? and you drove?" and she was like "i used to do that." so basically i payed $25 for parking to go and almost pass out and sit in the first aid tent. yippee. so that sucked but it happens. i should have known and eaten something. or brought sugar or granola bars. i was not prepared. stupid, molly. you know this happens and especially when you're by yourself. but luckily everyone was really nice and took care of me. otherwise i would have been passed out lying on the ground by myself. because i had no one. it's kind of scary when you're sick and can't see and about to pass out and you have no one and you're alone. and then the fact that i had to drive myself back home by myself and i was just so alone. no one checking up on me. i mean i was fine, and i'm back safe and sound in my bed. and i don't regret going, i wanted to see Dan and Shay and if i hadn't passed out i would have had a perfect spot and i would have had a great time. and just proof that i can take care of myself. okay, granted, i let myself almost pass out, but i did the right things and get myself help and got myself home safely which is all that matters.

oh but then i was going to go riding after i ate all the food i had basically. but they were already gone so i'm going to go Monday instead. so i went and watched the Fault in Our Stars by myself. i do everything alone basically. it was really good and i cried and really liked it. but i was almost expecting to feel more or be more excited about it. like as soon as it was done i just sort of went on with my life. maybe it was because i went by myself and didn't have anyone to share the experience with. that's the first time i think i went and saw a movie by myself.

hold on, let me go check and see what the last thing i wrote was. oh okay so let me catch you up before that. okay on Wednesday, the day after the Megan and Liz show, i had friends. i went with Summer and Erin to "girl's night" which happens every Wednesday and that is where i met the girl who rides and i had fun there. and after that we went to a concert for their friend Joel, who actually was at a dinner i was at, even though i didn't really talk to him. but he was really good, really really good. i should have talked to him at dinner. and that night Zach also texted me to ask what i was up to...and of course the one night he wants to hang out is when i have plans. i'm doing nothing every other day expect the one day he texts me. and then he said he was going to the CMAs on Thursday but i had to work all day Thursday so i told him to let me know if anything was going on after 6 but he never texted me. so i'm hoping i'll see him sometime before we get on the plane. i had tweeted him saying "guess i won't be seeing you at the CMA fest then, but have fun!" and he said he would be back on Saturday. so maybe he is planning on seeing me? i'm not sure. so we will see what happens the rest of the weekend. i have no plans. but as Erin and Aimee were leaving they invited me to go see XMen with them, even though I have never seen any of the other movies and basically have no interest. but if I have to pay 11.75 in order to have friends and some human contact and talk to someone, i probably will. but i'll let you know what happens. by the way, it's 9pm and i'm exhausted and alone at home in my bed. wooo party.