i'm trying not to let myself get stressed out right now. I don't really have a reason to. like I can handle what is happening right now. but here is the deal I guess.

so today was a successful day of avoiding Ellie. I woke up early so I could get some work done before FME review session at 9:45. I basically wrote the whole essay then so that's good. I did the FME review session which was basically me just in front of the class for an hour. and then we had a meeting with Professor Vroman which was good. and then I talked to Vik about his love life for a bit and quickly told me the Prateek update and a very brief friend stress summary. and then I went to lunch with Amelie and we talked about everything Ellie related. and she is kind of on the same page as me, but i'm in my fuck it stage. basically I just have to keep it together until after Paris then i'll probably just go ape-shit. i'm going to hold onto that letter until I need it. I am hoping she can process everything on her own and just get over it. but I am not apologizing and I don't feel bad at all. new Molly is focused on herself and doing what she needs to do.

anyways then I went to Wellesley to do some ADE work with Xi Xi which was fine. and babysitting got cancelled which was amazing. I haven't had to go for a while which is great actually. so I went to the Wellesley town library which is also amazing. they have all these work spots and it is so quiet and it is perfect. I can just come hide here and get work done and no one I know can find me. it is so perfect. so I finished my essay and the poem that went with it. i'm kind of proud of the poem. it is full of sexual innuendos but on the surface it is about babson, so that is fun.

and then I went back to campus to go to Vik's etowner housewarming party thing. which was kind of awkward because I didn't know anyone, but I did talk to a few people. but then it ended with me stealing pizza and going and eating it in my car. and then I had to decide where to go next, back to the dorm, the library, Reynolds, but it is freezing out. so I decided to drive back to the Wellesley library because it is open until 9. so here I am.

things I still have to do tonight: prep for my negotiations class tomorrow because we are filming it tomorrow. and it is for a job negotiation too, like I have the offer and need to negotiate my salary and my duties and all, so how about real world situation. and I just heard from Felicia about Spotify and she isn't recruiting anymore so I have to reach out to manager, who I know won't know of anything. and then I also have to plan these FME team retreats. and I also have a ton of ADE work to be done as well. and I still have the whole Ellie thing looming over me. and I have no time tomorrow. so I need to do everything tonight. I think i'm going to go talk to Derek for a minute, get in a better mood, and then get to work. the clock is ticking until I get kicked out of this library.