okay so this weekend has already been kind of crazy and strange.

Dolly has been perfect. I rode her outside on Friday and yesterday I set up a whole little complicated jump course and she was awesome.

umm Friday I was at the lake house and had my dad talking about his girlfriend and if we want to meet her. so we might be meeting her today. but still really strange.

and then yesterday we went geocaching with our uncle Chris. now Chris is my mom's brother who sort of removed himself from the family. like I haven't seen him since I was little. I'm not sure what happened but I don't blame him, our family can be somewhat...judgmental and loud and opinionated and such, but they do it all from love. and I really can't say anything because I don't know what the circumstances were. but basically after grampa died he has been mainly in contact with my mom. and he wanted to see us so we went and did some geocaches. and it was fine, he was just like our uncle. he fit right into the whole Gentes family and it wasn't really awkward at all. not sure what he thought of us, but I think it was good.

oh and then we went to Sheldon's to get ice cream and Nicole was working there. so that was so awkward. I felt bad. I didn't really say anything to her, just like Hi, how are you. Then I got out of there as soon as possible. I haven't seen her at all since we broke up. so that was really awkward.

but josh is talking to me on facebook. just sort of catching up on school and life I guess. it's like we have to feel each other out to see where we are at. I would love to get back to the point where we are friends and can just talk about anything. but that is going to take time if we ever even get there. I don't really know what he thinks of me and such. it's been 6 months since we broke up though. I think I've had enough time to sort of come to piece with it. But I still freaking miss him. And I miss having someone to hold me and kiss me and just having that connection with someone. I've been missing that more lately. I know that waiting will be worth it once I find the right person. But it's the waiting part that sucks. Not saying that I would date Josh again, because as much as I miss it, it wouldn't suddenly work better this time. But maybe I will get one friend back since I already lost so many.

so basically my life is at the point where I get to deal with my dad having a girlfriend, I can't go to any ice cream place, and i'm trying to figure out how to be friends with my ex. all while doing the whole school thing and riding team thing and working as an FME mentor and now working to take care of my professor's dog (that will be awesome)

oh and I missed the Taylor Mathews's listening party which was last night in LA. sad I missed that but at the same time it's okay. and i'm not going to be driving to NJ to see him for a day, also kind of sad. if it was closer I would but it isn't work driving 8 hours with a chance that they will change their minds and not want to hang out with me. plus I have midterms that week. so anyways I guess I will see him in February for our house show and all.

opps, realized I never actually Published this. I think i'm done with everything anyways.