i'm home for the weekend and i'm so happy to be home. I had an amazing ride on dolly earlier today. but now i'm sitting downstairs by myself because Maura's asleep and mommy went to pick up maeve from an event with her riding team.

and I find myself really missing josh and abby. I should have just stopped my thoughts from going there. but I miss them. so I sent josh a message on facebook, not sure if that was the best idea. I may regret it later. but I was the one who had pushed him away so if we are ever going to talk again I need to try first. and then it's up to him if he wants to talk to me or if he's completely over me and doesn't want to ever talk to me again. but I guess I have to try.

ahh. what else. I need to write in you more because you really are a way for me to reflect and get all my thoughts together.

there's this cute exchange student at babson from Australia and he is just really attractive and a senior. and he looks like a contest on the X Factor, Al Calderon, he was just eliminated but he is really cute too. just saying.

I am trying to figure out how to make my idea a reality. the hardest part is finding someone to make the website. I knew it wasn't going to be easy and i'm just going to have to make sure I don't give up and it will happen eventually, even if it takes years.

I might end up meeting my dad's girlfriend this weekend. still not really sure how I feel about that. I know it's been a year since my dad moved out. but it is still isn't good yet. maybe because i'm away I haven't been forced to get used to it like my sisters. or maybe they aren't good either. but I feel like crying just thinking about it. so new topic please.

ummm. I don't want to talk about sad things. there are happy things too. but i'm in a melancholy mood. maybe because it's late and dark and i'm listening to bedtime acoustic music. I would probably be sleeping now if I wasn't waiting up for maeve and my mom. i'm probably going to wait up for them and as soon as they get home they will just go to bed and then i'll be like, what did I wait up for? i'll give them until 11:30.

I just hope my allergies stay in check while i'm home. now that we have the 4 cats it's double the catness that I have to deal with...ha catness Katniss, i'm funny. I didn't even mean to.

anyways can Josh just message me back so I don't have to keep holding my breath waiting.