okayy sooo today is Josh's birthday and i'm not really sure how i feel about all of this...like if we were still together i would probably be home this weekend to celebrate his birthday, or i guess he would have came up here. but instead i have no idea what he is doing. nicole is in england, colin is probably will abby. i feel like i abandoned him almost. and i miss him. it sucks. like while i know we made the right decision not being together, i still miss him. i texted him saying happy birthday like a half an hour ago and no response. i hate it though because i am like nervous about him texting back. it's like when we first started texting all over again, but this isn't a happy excited feeling. this feeling sucks.

what else? umm i hid in the car the other day because i didn't want to talk to abby at the mt. toms. our friendship is spot on. not really. whatever i guess.

umm i hate having split parents. having to deal with which parent's day it is and having to talk to them about bringing my sisters or whatever and having to watch what you say to each one so you don't mention something you weren't supposed to and so you don't bring up something that you know would make them upset. it sucks so much. and i'm here at college, i imagine it is ten times worse for maeve and maura.

but summer college life is very chill, like i just hang out with roxy all day. it's just been so cold the past few days which sucks majorly. today we went shopping and there were so many cute clothes that i would buy if i could spend as much as i wanted and i had somewhere to wear them to. like if i was a rockstart like Rydel, i would buy so many clothes and be a rockstar and awesome but now the clothes i have will have to do.

i was so pumped because sunday there is a concert at six flags with awesome artists, like Carly Rae Jepson, Cher Lloyd, Little Mix, and Hot Chelle Rae. and then Alex and his sister did this little dance thingy with hand movements to a song by Chris Wallace and he is going to be there too so we are learning the whole dance thingy so we can do it and film it while he is singing that song, which will be awesome. but i have an open house thingy for camp that day i apparently have to go to. so like the earliest i can get up to six flags is 4:30. which wasn't the plan. we were going to go the whole day and ride rides in the morning and then the doors for the concert open at 3:30 so go for that. now i will even be late for that. which sucks. and we are going with two of our R5 friends, Risa and Brooke. i'm kind of bummed that i am going to miss that, but i'll probably end up going late. i'll see. maybe the open house will end early. and i don't really want to drive up there and go through the whole six flags thing and find them all by myself. maybe i'll find a cute boy at the open house to bring with me. haha no, my sisters would kill me. i was trying to think of a friend to bring with me...but i have none...wow.

well this has been fun. not really. okay.