i'm really tired. it's not even seven pm yet. it was a half day. i did ride and clean stalls and do horsemanship stuff but other than that i haven't done much.

guess what i'm doing this weekend? nothing. oh wait. i'm having dinner with my grandparents and aunt. fun fun. what are the rest of my friends doing? going to cotillion. whose fault is that? mine. i'm here complaining about it but really it's my fault i'm not going. i could have went if i wanted to. i would have probably been lonely, Stephanie would be dancing with Michelle or whoever and would be going crazy, Abby would have Colin and all her other friends that i'm not friends with and who else is there? Katelyn? yeah no. i don't even know if she is going. plus the last dance i went to wasn't that fun. it wouldn't be such a big deal if i was actually doing something else but i'm not. Maeve's sleeping over a friend's house on Saturday and Maura will probably find someone to hang out with. actually her friend is sleeping over tonight. so i'll be stuck home with the parents again. just like last weekend. whose fault is that? mine cause i can't make friends. again it's my fault. it's not that i can't it's just i don't. in other words i suck.

yay for weekends spent watching movies with my parents.

i need to stop complaining about it and do something about it. yep. not going to happen. why not? i don't know. i really don't know. right now i feel like going to sleep but i haven't eaten dinner yet. my dad is bring home pizza. my mom said that Maeve and I could go shopping with him but who the heck wants to be seen at the mall with their dad when everyone else is with their friends? i should embrace my family and not care because i love them but yeahhh.

i'm getting too afgdgkajfgkljadklfjadskfjakdsjfl. i sort of feel like crying. my period must be coming soon. i hate this. i hate how i'm the only person standing in my way but i can't get over it. gah.