hi okay so I am writing this post cause I was in a weird mood earlier that needed to be written about. now i'm just kind of tired and out of the funk a bit. but I guess I should write anyways.

sooo Derek came and visited Boston. he met me at Spotify and I showed him the office then I left work early to go and show him around Boston. so we walked around Quincy Market and the Boston Harbor area. and then walked back to Boston Commons and met Roxy and Nasser there. then he had to leave pretty early to go have dinner with his family.

like it was good and all. but I just had this sort of empty sad feeling afterwards. like maybe I was expecting more? or I was just sad to see him leave? I think we were just sort of getting past the whole first awkward meeting thing. and I talk to this guy fairly often and then I see him in person for a few hours, I feel like we don't really actually talk about anything, and then he is gone.

i'm hoping that I will see him tomorrow night too. Roxy and I and some other peeps are going to a free Matt and Kim concert tomorrow. he is meeting up with another kid from our Shanghai program at 5:30. so I am hoping he will meet up with us afterwards. cause if that was it...

also I think I am also kind of bummed because I am realizing i'm not that special. like he will meet up with Caleb tomorrow. and then when he is in NYC he will meet up with another girl from our program. and he was texting another one then because he told me that she said hi. I don't know why I want to be special to him. but for some reason I just want to be his favorite. maybe because I talk to him more than I talk to a lot of my other friends. so technically he is kind of one of my closest friends? but then when we meet up it didn't actually feel like he was one of my closest friend or that I was one of his...maybe that is why I am kind of bumming.

well I guess I will see if I get to see him tomorrow. if not then just go back to facebook messaging without any idea of when we will actually see each other...after about 3.5 hours of hanging out.

blaah...