I just got overwhelmed talking to my mom about plans for tomorrow because I am just tired and overwhelmed. it's been go go go. and dealing with the fact that I actually have emotions and am disappointed with the whole Derek situation. and then dealing with Ellie and the fact that somehow I signed up for a roadtrip leaving at 6:30am...and then she somehow invited herself to the other horse show i'm going to with my mom tomorrow when I really just wanted to spend time with my mom. I feel like Ellie just wants me to always do something with her and always be entertaining her and when she is bored it is my job to do something with her. i'm sorry if you don't have any friends to do something with but please don't strain me. I have a lot going on and I don't know how i'm going to do it all.

luckily Monday and Tuesday of this week I didn't have anything after work and I was able to go for a run. then Wednesday I left work early and hung out with Derek and then stayed out fairly late with Roxy and Nasser to get dinner. then Thursday was a concert and dinner and I stayed out late again. and then today was dinner with Ellie and then now i'm babysitting. and then tomorrow will be at that horse show which might end up going late since i'll stay for the whole thing. and then sunday is a road trip super early. and then Monday is work again and spending the rest of the day packing. then Tuesday is up early to go to New York. Wednesday I present and spend the day in New York. Thursday is New York and then heading back to Boston. and then Friday I have to wake up early to drive Ellie to the airport and then i'm dogsitting and i'm working. maybe my last Spotify day? I don't even know. but i'll be dogsitting Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. and then I don't know if i'm back to work on Monday or if i'll be packing and going on. then another week at work and then I move in on Saturday.

I am already overwhelmed and I haven't even started school when it is going to be worse. I just need to do nothing.

but deep breaths. I am good. I am okay. I am fortunately. I am so grateful. I have worked hard to get this. Everything is going to be okay and I'll get through this too. I'm good.