hi. I don't know what i'm doing. with life. with anything. like this is so weird.

I spent over 4 hours watching tv on my laptop today. I also cooked dinner. and applied for internships.

it's so strange. i'm like in 6 months I could be getting ready to go to an internship in LA, or in Boston, or I will be going back home. I have no idea. all I can do it wait though and find out.

and then I have to figure out my whole schedule and when and where i'm studying abroad and what internships to apply to and I have to decide how to spend my time and what to do.

and like i'm just exhausted. i'm so tired. and I haven't even done anything. i'm 19 yet i'm so young. I have barely even done anything. yet I've been preparing I guess.

I want to revolutionize the music industry. I want to have some big old record company that does it completely different. okay so not old...some big new record company. just change how they do it. I've been reading this book called All You Need to Know About the Music Business and it baffles my mind about how little artists get. record labels are only looking out for themselves. like isn't there a way to do the whole music thing that is fair for everyone involved? without negotiating and arguing over huge contracts and such? I don't know. I hope so. I hope I can come up with some sort of business where I help artists make a living making music and sharing that music.

until then i'm going to go to class and do the whole college thing. and learn what I can about the current music industry. and try to get an internship. and try to figure out life.

tomorrow i'm going to a babson-asia conference thing. we will see how that goes. okay now I really need to sleep, i'm up early tomorrow and I need as much sleep as I can get.