two big things happened today and i'm not sure which one to talk about first. it would make sense to talk about them in order of how they happened. and one would make more sense if i talked about it first but i'm not. i'll do it the hard way and end up explaining myself more than i have to.
today my sisters went with my aunt to boston to sleep over for the weekend. my step second cousins, James, Andrew, and Emma, are going to sleep over there too on friday and saturday night. i'm not going cause i own a horse which will be explained later.
so what should i be feeling now looking around the house and there only being my parents? no sisters doing something else? not having to worry about if we are waking my the sleeping children upstairs? anything you think i should be feeling. excitement? sadness? fear?
well i'm sad. when i was getting into my car and my sisters were going with my aunt i kind of felt like crying. i hugged everyone and i felt like crying. and then i was thinking what if something happened to them? what if they died?
is that strange or weird to think about death? cause i sometimes do. maybe it is natural but i do you ever think that while you are thinking about those "what if" that they will never come true because you thought of them. what sometime like a "what if" happens it is always a surprise. does that even make sense?
i don't know. but i was sad. and it seems weird tonight. different.
moving on.
i am a horse owner once again. after my mother giving me "are you sure" talk this morning i went through with it. i emptied my bank account which had about 6,000 dollars in it and my mother paid the rest. and i now own a horse.
i so wish that it was the right decision and everything will work out.
the girl who use to own him came to the barn today to give us some stuff and receive her money. she is a student in college at umass and didn't have enough time for him anymore. she thinks we are a great family for him. she wants to stay in touch. of course. he was her baby for three years and still is. she doesn't have a horse anymore. she wants to see me show which is fine but something that just jumped in my mind. hopefully she doesn't try to take over if she comes but thinking about that i don't think she would and if he was misbehaving she would only be a help. yeah bad thought.
ahahahahhhh. i'm a bit nervous all together.
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