hi so somehow I have gotten to the point of texting Matt every night...like he texts me everyday around 9:30 - 10ish. and we text until one of us goes to sleep. and it's scary because I like talking to him. I don't want to be attached. and I don't want to grow attached to someone by texting them. texting someone is completely different than hanging out in person.

I mean we just decided we are going to go to a festival in boston together on Saturday...officially a date. so I guess we will see how that goes. I mean yes I enjoyed our first date but it is strange getting to know someone via text, because then when you see them it's hard to know where you stand. you know?

okay so timeline. 27th meet. 28th one text each. 3rd ask to hangout. 4th hang out. 6th start texting. everyday since then. it is now the 15th. i'm sure I will hear from him the rest of the week. 18th festival. almost a month.

oh also Ellie already bought Red Sox tickets for me, her, Matt, and her Steve friend. like crazy already buying tickets for boys we are just talking to...barely even not really at all dating. mine is going better than hers, she hasn't heard from him since she asked him to go get sushi...i'm just praying for her that it works out. she likes Steve a lot more than I like Matt.

is that bad that i'm so "whatever" about Matt? I mean he is nice and average looking and I enjoy texting him and I enjoyed hanging out. but i'm not freaking out or anything. well we will see how the festival goes. I mean if nothing else he will be a good friend. or a fun summer fling.

I have to be prepared. would I kiss him? I probably would once, see how it goes. i'm pretty open and just whatever. I don't have much to lose. i'm trying to stay pretty neutral and unattached. I miss kissing might attach me more than I want but I can try to kiss someone and stay unattached. I've never had the chance to before. so. we will see. or maybe we don't see that part, but if this relationship keeps going the way it is, there will be kissing sooner or later.

I  mean I am 21. even though I feel too young to be kissing boys and doing that whole thing. even though I've done it before. it's been a while. I don't know. it's strange. but I am just excited to go to the festival and he will come with me. so we will see.

okay it's 11pm and i'm babysitting and i'm going to eat some of my salad I brought. awesome life here.