i have two friends who are going through emotional hard times today. Amelie is here just freaking out and breaking down because of her life and boys and shit like that. and then Ellie just went home this morning but she is dealing with family shit and she has been crying all night and texting me. and I just want to make everything better and I don't know what to say and I feel like i'm not helping. I listen and I try to say that I think will help but I don't even know. I feel like I could do more but I am just not the right person and I don't know what to say and i'm not a super warm and comforting person. but I do listen and I am here for them. and i'll always be here. and on top of those two, Bea texted me saying she was depressed and I just couldn't respond and deal with her today because I needed to focus on Amelie and Ellie. like I can't even worry about my life. I just want to make sure they are okay.

I could just writing about my life now and how I am giving up on Hanson and how my family is still a shit show and how it hasn't even set in that i'm going to be in Nashville in basically two weeks. wait two weeks. holy wow. what. and the china. and how im barely going to see any of my friends and I don't know what I am going to do without them. and how I am going to survive in Nashville on my own and in china. and I need to stop down before I freak out.

okay deep breath. tomorrow is going to be a better day for everyone. the game plan is to go to my meeting at 10. then go to trim with Amelie. and then decide if I want to go into work or not. if not then I am going to start going through my clothes. and then I am going to have to figure out dinner because Amelie is going to a BRIC dinner thing and then when she gets back i'll spend the night with her and we will make sure we have fun. and i'll make sure Ellie is doing okay at home. and i'll have to text Bea and apologize for not texting her yesterday. and then another day will be done. then after tomorrow i'm going to have to buckle down and start studying.

time is keep on passing no matter what. so we will get there no matter what happens.