hi, sorry i have been neglecting you. guess where i am? yep, i'm officially in nashville. i've been here since friday and i already had my first day of my internship today.

i'm not really sure how i feel about everything. i really like it here, Nashville in general, and the house. Nashville isn't like NYC or like buildings and city everywhere. technically i'm in Nashville right now but it seems like the suburbs. but then i just take two turns and drive down the street for 15 minutes and i'm at work. and then yesterday we drove for about 25 minutes and we were at the lake.

but let's back up first. okay. my mom and i left on wednesday. drove down to maryland to see Taylor and Zach at their house show in Maryland. Taylor was basically a jerk and barely talked to us and seemed like he didn't even care that we were there. Zach was a sweetheart and is awesome and made me happy that he is going to be here all summer so hopefully i'll see him a bit. or a lot. my mom was like "i think you and Zach are going to become really good friends...or more than friends" and i was like umm no please don't say that. really i'll be lucky is Zach hangs out with me and stuff. friends would be more than enough.

that's the thing, i don't want people to go out of their way for me. and when i say people, i really mean Zach and my roommates. like i really appreciate it when they do include me in stuff, but i don't want them to feel like they have to. i will be okay. i think. i'm not sure how i am going to make friends. i am not very good with that. i was hoping Rounder would have other interns, but i'm their only one. at least i think so. maybe there will be another one but i would guess not.

okay getting ahead of myself again. so we saw Zach and Taylor. made us appreciate Zach more. then we drove 11 hours in one day and got lucky that there was a sketchy motel because there was nothing around. if there wasn't one there we would of had to keep driving. but then the next day we went to visit mommy's friend Tonya in Kentucky, and i'm glad she was able to see her to make this trip worthwhile for her too. and then after that it was off to Nashville.

so the house is really cute, it's all on one floor. there is a front long room full of stuff that we don't use and we don't use the front door. so when you come in the back door, you come into the living room area, then kitchen with a kitchen table, and then a really long hallway with four bedrooms and a bathroom. my bedroom is the last one of the right and i have my own bathroom since it's the master bedroom. which is maybe the best thing about the whole house.

my roommates are Erin, Kristan, and Summer. Erin is on tour and then went to Ireland so I haven't met her yet. Kristan is so little and cute and adorable and she invited us to the park on Saturday to see some free live music so my mom and I went to that. I haven't talked to her much other than that. yesterday though, Summer invited me to breakfast with her and her boyfriend, Ben, and then they brought me to the lake. i felt so awkward the whole thing but i am glad i went. i will slowly open up and warm up to everyone. hopefully sooner rather than later.

i am just so horrible at making friends. i am just so awkward and don't know how to talk to people and just open up when i first meet them. when i am in my comfort zone surrounded my friends and one new person enters, i am fine. but when i am the odd one out, i can't do it. the only person i know here is Zach, and he is gone all this weekend and i don't want to bother him so i don't even know how much i'll see him. and honestly, i barely even know him. I've seen him all of two times. I am not even completely comfortable around him yet. so basically there is no one here that i feel completely comfortable with. so i have no friends. which sucks. and i don't know how to make any. there was the mixer thing i saw online for young music entrepreneurial professional stuff, but i don't have the confidence to just show up to that on my own. who knows, i'll look up where it is tonight but i doubt i'll go tomorrow. i can't even find the motivation to go to target. i'm so tired all the time. i am probably going to crash as soon as my clothes are out of the dryer - which was a process to figure out how to get it to start by the way.

oh but then the internship went well. Matt is my supervisor and he is super laid back and chill. so i like him. and the office is so cool and i really like it. and someone has their dog there so he just makes the office happier. but i spent the day writing address labels and rolling up posters and packaging them to send to promoters. overall i'm going to be in charge of tour stuff. i have to send up an updated tour schedule every week and keep on top of sending posters to venues and promoters and keep the tour binder organized. my email is literally tours@rounder. but i really like it so far. it's a long day but i'm doing stuff i like doing even if it is tedious and seems like it is just rolling posters...i know i am helping somehow and i really like being in the music industry. i really hope i learn a lot. i also wish that there was another intern or two so i had someone my age i could be friends with. all of my roommates are older than me. everyone in the office is older than me. Zach is older than me. and it's no problem except for the fact that they are all over 21 so they all go out drinking and i'm under 21 so i can't even get into the places that they go. like i can't even get into the bar even if i didn't want to drink. it's just really annoying. and even though my birthday is this summer i'm only turning 20...20 has never seemed so young. i know that i am still young. but it's weird because sometimes i'll feel old again, like omg i'm already 20 i'm growing up so fast. then i'll be like no, i'm so young and i still have so much to learn. i know that. i just hope i'll grow up some this summer and learn a lot.

i feel old wanting to fall asleep at 9:30...